Caution: Read at your own risk. This blog post contains information of a most intimate nature.
Am I imagining it or did Scott toilet tissue used to be a premium brand?
I say “used to” because I recently opened a bale of it up and put several rolls into my bath and powder rooms. It took me about a week or so to connect this installation to disturbing discoveries of BALLED UP SHREDDED WET OLD TOILET PAPER that were clinging to me in various nooks and crannies of my anatomy.
Can you believe it took me that long to make the connection? It was a relief to discover that it was the toilet paper that was defective and not that my nooks and crannies suffered any recent change that caused them to retain things after only a glancing acquaintance. Once I did manage to put two and two together, I mentioned it to my husband and he said that he too had recently been afflicted with BALLED UP SHREDDED WET OLD TOILET PAPER but to a lesser degree*. Furthermore, he complained that rolls of the stuff from the same bale varied in sheet thickness.
*That’s because he only has crannies and I have both nooks and crannies. Biology is destiny, people.
So what to do now? I’ve always avoided big puffy toilet paper such as Charmin because the puffiness seemed to me to be overblown and unnecessary. That’s why I liked Scott because it was just straightforward sheets of plain paper that did not puff, cushion, cloud or anything else. Except shred and hang around after their intended purpose had been fulfilled.
Also not sure I mentioned this but I think you should know that I spend a lot of my free time tracking down every available version of Witchi Tai To that YouTube has to offer. Here’s the one I most love at the moment: