Did I Not Call It?

Right on schedule, Chelsea Clinton is pregnant. How conveeeeeenient! Vote wise, this is better than a dead Hawaiian grandmother.

…………………………………………………….

UPDATE: Maybe I didn’t call it.  I had some notes written in November for a post predicting this but I never published it. The draft is titled Mrs. Mezvinsky’s Baby. Here are the notes:

HRC run for prez

only thing missing is grandmotherhood

chelsea pregnant in 2014 then miscarrage

real baby in 2015. elderly mother. prenatal care.

Taking back healthcare. Out with Obamacare. In with  “Chelsea’s Law”.

 

Is That My Graduation Present On the Set of Mad Men?

You know, , it’s happened before that I would blog about something and then within two or three days, a big name blog would be posting abut the same ting in almost the same words. It happens on Twitter a little bit I think because I don’t have very many followers but still it happens. Twitter is different from blogging though because the rapid timelines make it easier to copy something, imply its your own and then it gets buried in the crush of a million other tweets.

But this. This is big. Remember this?

unnamed

Sent off to live a second life. Who knew the second life would be in Hollywood?

Now look at this. I think Mad Men bought my old luggage.

gs

Try to focus on the suitcase.

This is a scene from the Episode 1 Season 7 that broadcast on Sunday. I admit I didn’t catch this as I was watching but it sure did jump out at me when I read the Mad Style recap at Tom &Lorenzo. I taped this show because they’re always so dreamlike that I need at least two viewings to make sense out of it, so I am going to watch again and if I see anyone walking around in that airport carrying a little gold train case, well …

I am more pleased than spooked about this.  As much as I like California Pete with his floppy hair and his tennis sweater swagger, as soon as I saw him I knew that meant I’d never see him in the same room as Stangl Amber Glo again. And now, Airway Harvest Gold luggage. Very gratifying.

 

Listenin’ and Lookin’

Apologies all around. I complain that there are not any blogs left to read and yet here I am neglecting my own blog. I haven’t been able to get anything down here because I am dealing with the worst haircut ever. That’s not true. I’m just busy . Really busy. In the meantime, here are 4 ladies who give us things to think over. The first two are from Our Department of Forget What I Said Before Pay Attention To What I’m Saying Now

  1. Jenny McCarthy isn’t really against vaccinations.

related: Jenny McCarthy Body Count

2.Wendy Davis isn’t really familiar with this abortion of which you speak.

3. Next, we have two lady power brokers from the O Squad. Valerie Jarret drops by Hollywood to chit chat about inserting pro-Obamacare messages into scripts. You can tell this is a friendly, casual sort of visit – take it or leave it, its up to you! – because ValJar has chosen to dress as if she just popped off the tour bus of Hollywood Stars homes.

vj

I suppose she’s showing off her fabulously toned arms?

Although she did take the time to find matching pumps. Shorts and high-heels. It’s a look, I guess. One thing I do like about this woman is that she always has the same hairdo no matter what the occasion.  America needs something it can depend on nowadays and that thing is ValJar’s hair helmet.

4. Poor little Kathleen Sibelius has left HHS. Now well never know if she was planning an information campaign about the physical danger of having a larger than normal head.

BlQrMG2CQAEb1EA

Sad Kathy

I’ve seen her in person and she is a very petite gal with an enormous head. As you can see, even  some over enthusiastic eyebrow plucking on one side can be enough to tip the balance.

My Kingdom For A Decent Foundation Garment!


News item: Prince Charles, Camilla celebrate 9 years of marriage That, of course, is not the real news item here as any woman anywhere can immediately tell you. The patriarchy, I tell you again, is not properly equipped to provide insight into news events. Accompanying this article is a link to a slide set showing the happy couple over the years. It only takes two clicks to understand in a very practical way what it really means to have the power, the wealth and resources of the British Empire at your disposal:

ss-140310-charles-camilla-32.ss_full

Is that the best old lady bra you have ever seen in your life? YES!

Time passes, gravity does it’s inevitable work and the boobs of rich and poor alike head southward. This is clearly a case of  “it’s not what happens to you in life – it’s how you handle what happens to you” and Camilla has called upon the Royal Corsetier for a boost, so to speak. dndwI have to say, I’ve never been a Camilla  fan but even the slim and elegant Duchess of Windsor couldn’t pull this off. Oh, she was pretty great at getting her couturiers to design garments that pleated or bunched up around the critical area so one could not tell exactly what was where but camouflage isn’t  the same as mechanics and in this area, Camilla wins it hands down.

And its not just a matter of time and technology, either. Gaze upon some Camilla’s contemporaries – prominent American ladies who have ample means and devoted designers but have not been able to match Camilla’s accomplishment. These three are of different boob situations but the common thread is that they are all a mess. First,  we have a woman who is declared and accepted to be a world famous fashion icon. Michelle Obama’s boobs are disproportionately small for her bulk overall but … oh, heck I don’t even know how to put this into words and I bet you can’t either. What in the world is going on there?

part3

Then they came for the shapewear and there was no one left to speak.

But big or small, high or low, all boobs start to droop sooner or later and America’s unofficial ambassador of style and beauty has chosen the push up method instead of Camilla’s pull up strategy. The choice of an in-your-face external device instead of  a more demure undergarment says exactly who she is and failure to speak out against this declasse move says a lot about American citizenry  under the dominion of our betters. First they came for the cardigans and I did not speak out because I don’t wear cardigans.

Another member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee is our beloved Hillary Rodham Clinton.

showbiz-hillary-clinton

Her boobs are the least of it. Amirite?

Seriously, her boobs are not her biggest style problem but boobs and bras are the topics at hand here so let’s focus there. Hillary is an older lady and surely her small boobs are sagging but we might never know because wearing tops that actually fit is not one of her priorities. She might not even wear a bra for all we know. And I think it goes without saying that location of bust darts be damned. Question: Has Nancy Pelosi ever had breast augmentation? Or are those the cantalupos the good Lord gave her?

… aaand the suns set over the Democrat empire.

Good Lord, woman – get a winch hoist for those things, would you? You only own all of San Francisco and half of Baltimore so make an investment in yourself, would you? I’ve got to think that this is where Camilla’s royal boobs would be without her marvelous brassiere task force. American women in the political spotlight would do well to learn a lesson here.

 

The Joy of Greeting Cards

I opened a box today that I thought was framed pictures from the old house but it turned out to be a memorabilia that was stored in my mother’s attic. Right on top encased in a sticky plastic bag was my lost silk orchid wedding bouquet looking much less tasteful than I remembered it. Among the assortment were a few random greeting cards, including this one:

wc

eyes wide open

Art imitates art, I guess and this image seems to be modeled on a popular book of its time.

Other items in the box:

  • two student nurse uniforms
  • a pearly pink ceramic jewelry box
  • a ceramic graduation girl standing on a cloud emblazoned with gold script detailing my HS graduation
    • the cloud base contains many many inexpensive religious medals and some detachable garter hooks from an old girdle
  • 4 assorted greeting cards
  • a padded silk keepsake card from my confirmation
  • 3 girl scout badges and a sheet of 4th grade geography homework , all belonging to my daughter
  • a cigar box holding 12 White Owl New Yorkers with custom wrappers proclaiming “OUR WEDDING DAY”
  • a dozen high school wallet-sized pictures of other HS graduates
  • a program from my nursing school’s Dedication Night noting (between the main address and the candle lighting) choral selections I Believe and Climb Every Mountain, then  the recitation of the Florence Nightingale Pledge, immediately followed by another choral selection:  Let There Be Peace On Earth
  • a 3″ lapel pin making the wearer an Official Bicentennial Belle
  • two dozen glow-in-the-dark key rings all in the shape of a number one from various pizza places, body shops and municipal contractors

[worknotes for the forthcoming novelette Suzette, A Life]

 

I Clasped My Hands Against My Bosom And Lifted My Face Skyward When I Said This To Him

Scene: A married couple discus the design merits of vintage china patterns for a hypothetical acquisition:

Her [final line of dialogue]: This is the difference between us - I am interested in delicate beauty and understated elegance and you are trying to re-create the Viceroy’s dinner table at the end of the British Raj.

aaaaand curtain.

BREAKING NEWS!

This morning, I struggle out of my blogging coma to report an event of great excitement: The creek workers have returned and they brought two truckloads of shrubbery with them.

Thank goodness that the dog got his early morning barking out of the way before this happened.

March 27, 2014 – 8:30 am: Thank goodness that the dog got his early morning barking out of the way before this happened.

They won’t give any shade and so far they seem to be all one type of arbor vitae – which I love but I question the lack of foresight in the selection of single specimens over mixed varieties – but they will effectively screen the dog walkers and looky loos from Stedman’s line of sight and cut down on the overall amount of aroo-ing that goes on here. And so I am officially thrilled.

Also, deer are the new rabbits. Look what they did to the branches of my mature bushes over the winter.

On the right side of this photo, behind the bare tree branches, you can barely make out the round, dark head of The Poodle talking to a creek worker in a green vest. He’s probably asking  how soon he can bring his dog around to pee all over the new shrubbery.

UPDATE:

better than nothing

March 27, 2014 – 12 Noon: better than nothing

This is not going to reduce the amount of barking around here sad face but if the good Lord is willing AND THE CREEK DON’T RISE I’ll live long enough to see these grow tall and fill out.

I am somewhat less excited than I was three hours ago.