Do not for a minute doubt the utter genius of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Long time readers know how adept she is at sending political messages via her wardrobe choices and we all respect and admire that even if we don’t agree with the message. But she has stepped it up a notch by sending messages via the animal kingdom.
In 2011, it came to light that The Clinton’s had two dogs – an athritic lab and a bouncy poodle.
“When I’m home, we go on these walks and we have this old Labrador who has arthritis, and we always try to convince him to come out for a walk. And then we have this toy poodle that we got to keep the Labrador company and to try to get the Labrador to be more energetic. And she’s, like, bouncing all the time.”
Hmmm. Getting a bouncy younger dog to re-energize the slower older one. Where have I heard this before? I think it was quite recently.
Apparently, their canine tribe has increased to 3. Not content with out-vacationing the Obamas by working through the NYT to let it be know that they’ve been coming to the Hamptons so long that they’ve established multiple circles, – they’ve got a regular place for junk food and they go to night clubs but are not so vulgarly arriviste – but now they have out-dogged them as well.
… morning walks on the beach with their dogs. (They now have three: Seamus, an 8-year-old arthritic chocolate Labrador; Tally, a poodle; and a new companion, Maisie, a curly-haired pup of undetermined breed.)
Do you see the genius here? No? Let me assist:
- Seamus, an 8-year-old arthritic chocolate Labrador – just in case the Low Fos can’t remember the name of BJ’s first chocolate lab and how it met its untimely death at a young age, the illusion is created that this chocolate lab – so old it’s got arthritis! – is the one BJ had while still in office. No worries that the Low Fos can discredit this notion by actually counting off the years.
- Tally, a poodle - Hell yeah a poodle. A toy poodle. There’s your women’s vote right there. I’d sure vote for a presidential candidate with a toy poodle. How very sly that these dogs are familiarly known as “French Poodles” but this one if referred to only a “a poodle”. Let’s see BHO wiggle away from the “Portuguese” part of his dog’s breed. America!
- Maisie, a curly-haired pup of undetermined breed – Aaand the hammer falls. Take that, Obama. No PETA pounding here for buying a pedigreed animal instead of getting a rescue dog. No mention that Maisie actually was a rescue, but seriously who is going to lay out any kind of money for a pup of undetermined breed?
And just to be sure they win the one-upping, it was revealed that there’s a 4th Clinton dog – this one the most beloved of all even though no one knew of its existence before. True or not, the story is out there about a 4th dog. And you how it is - if you read it on the internet, it must be true.
Read these tea leaves:
Feminine hairdo? √
Serious but form flattering new suit? √
Cat that ate the canary face? √
FAT FARM ? √
Oh please Lord – from Keith Koffler’s lips to Your ears. How I long for the nation’s daily spotlight to shine on Hillary again. How wonderful it would be to have such a skilled manipulator, such a masterful deliverer of the passive-aggressive cheap shot, such an innocently wide-eyed performer of the what do you mean what do I mean routine put herself before us for scrutiny once again.
Oh sure she’s never been off the stage but I have to conclude that the nitty gritty of her performance as Secretary of State wasn’t really something that she wanted on display. Hello Mid-Eastern fruit of her labors! I don’t even care – just give us something interesting to watch again. World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama was good for a few rounds of the same laugh for a while there but how long was it really before that got old? I mean one can only make the same little eye/wave that crotch around joke so many times.
No more – the trashy behavior grows dull, the inelegant and 8th grade level speeches begin to bore, the blatant greed and disregard for her prestigious position is becomes tarsome instead of shocking and as the most beautiful most tasteful most brilliant narrative is finally blessedly! petering out. Now – give us Hillary. And give us along with her the hound dog husband and the chubby brother, the Planned Parenthood-pushing daughter with the Whack-A-Mole careers and the ski bum husband. Give us photo ops with Nancy Pelosi visibly choking back her disdain and please dear Lord give us the pantsuits.
Here’s some other public activity that we might be seeing in the very near future. Be on the lookout for:
- Hillary & Bill – possibly Chelsea & what is it Mike? Mark? – obtain a photogenic pet that quite suddenly becomes the subject of prolonged media attention.
- There’s a barely perceptible public put-down (wink wink) directed towards Huma’s husband at about the same time that Hillary inserts single motherhood due to cheatin’ snakes into her daily rhetoric.
- A certain Muslim/Jewish toddler with a cheatin’ snake for a father inexplicably gets baptized. Godmother: Hillary Rodham Clinton.
- Chelsea Clinton goes under the knife again to shave off the parts of her original face that grew back since her initial surgical makeover.
I longed for the day that Hillary would be back in the national spotlight everyday but this isn’t going to be much fun.
In a serious society, Benghazi, standing alone, would spell the end of Hillary Clinton’s public career.
Revelations about Benghazi on September 11th are coming at a rapid pace now and it’s hard to keep track of what I read and where, but yesterday something whizzed by that said the State Department (HRC) did an end run around the counter-terrorism people and then went on to say this is exactly what happened at Waco in ’93.
If that’s true, Benghazi alone means that Hillary killed more people than the Boston bombers. Combined with Waco, we’re talking outdoing Jeffrey Daumer, Ted Kaczynski and John Wayne Gacy put together.
Will it hurt her chances for a presidential run in 2016? No silly, she’s a Democrat and she’s a master of the straight-faced lie.
I must say that in light of the sickening things I’m reading and hearing today the one little ray of sunshine is Hillary Clinton’s hairdo. Do you not love that she has been traipsing around the globe, attending formal events and posing for photo-ops with hair that looks like the season’s first scarecrow?
Today she shows up after some deep conditioning and a full head of hot rollers to read a statement to “reporters”. AND THEN shows up 40 minutes later keeping an eye on the Empty Chair of the Free World with a fresh comb-out!
Bread & Peace, people. Bread & Peace.
Hillary Clinton on Chelsea, Grandchildren and Handbags
Hillary Clinton: Myth and Reality, Harper’s Bazaar Feb 2011
Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising development? As you know, my own extensive research has proven not only does Hillary NOT carry a handbag but also how she manages without one (see here). And yet – all of a sudden, here we have a glimpse of HRC positively gushing over her handbag. And not just a generic object – she makes sure to note that it’s a specific designer bag of a decidedly freaky nature. AND THERE ARE PICTURES!
am I dreaming?
Readers, I am struck dumb by this. I confess that it took me the whole morning to process this. And then it came to me – it’s business as usual for old Hill. She does something completely out of character to attract attention to herself that makes news immediately before a bomb drops about something in their personal lives.
So what’s up, Hilz? What could be looming on the horizon that earned a spread in Harper’s Bazaar where you are delightfully portrayed as a person who gets Dancing With The Stars updates on a regular basis from your mother, takes long walks in the woods with your husband and the dogs (Editor’s note: dogs? what dogs?), cleans out the kitchen drawers in Chappaqua and muses about a future as a hands-on grandmother. That’s a powerful lot of warm fuzzy imagery packed into one article, to say nothing of the glamor shots that accompany the text. And girl talk about a handbag THAT YOU ADORE. Speaking as if you were a Gabor sister – I declare that I still cannot fully wrap myself around this.
Whatever could be up?
Distraction Option Filtering Process