Some people are Early Adopters; I’m more of a Late Abandoner. You’re looking at proof of that right here – blogging went out of fashion years ago and yet I cling to it as my main platform. but this is not about the internet or about social media. This is about Bravo TV.
Bravo TV certainly never was designed for mass appeal but I did like the pop-culturey trashiness and I watched a lot of it. Wedding-gowned Bethenny Frankel peeing in a campaign bucket at the Four Seasons? Yes. 40 year old Persians getting shit faced as if they were 15 year olds left alone with their parents’ liquor cabinet for the first time. I was right there. And the pinnacle of Trash TV mountain – The Real Housewives of New Jersey I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
But I dropped one show after another until only RHoNJ was left and then Bravo screwed that up, too. With few exceptions, the celebrities featured on Bravo shows are below normal intelligence level but the crew they have now are the dumbest of the dumb*. And they get that title only because Teresa Giudice is on her way to “college”.
*Too bad because this season’s new housewives are from my neck of the woods [Central NJ readers will immediately get that joke] and maybe the series would have shown some of them caught in pumpkin picking traffic along Rt 34.
And this is what I want to say because the rest of the internet is not saying it. Teresa seemed to believe that she would be spared prison time because she is caretaker to her 4 daughters. In the world of feels>facts that we live in today, the internet – at least commenters and tweeters – agreed with her. But this is what I want to say: The prisons are full of mothers.
In an act of brazen self-promotion – and I’m not sure who is worse here Bravo TV/Andy Cohen or Teresa and Joe Giudice, the two convicts showed up for a post-sentencing interview on Watch What Happens Live. Andy asked direct questions and T&G gave answers that consisted mostly of “I don’t know” and “whatever”. But here’s the thing I found most striking of all: Teresa was dressed like a nun!
Step aside Hillary Clinton. There’s a new wardrobe messenger in town. Check it out:
- flattened hair
- minimal jewelry
- no glittery eye shadow,
- no garish lip or nail color
- no cleavage
- no ruffles/frills
- no spray tan
and in the most ironic example of too little too late:
Hosiery! To improve her image and make her more acceptable to the main stream of American society, World Famous Trash Icon and Busy Mom (patent pending) Teresa Giudice is telegraphing that she is a modest, decent woman by means of pantyhose. World Famous Fashion Icons and Busy Moms™ , take note.
I can’t watch Bravo TV anymore not even as post-work decompression device or as simple background noise. In summary, goodbye BravoTV you trashmonger, goodbye Teresa you convicted felon and with any luck at all, goodbye MOO and your shiny bare legs.
You can – and you should – watch the Bravo interview. If you missed the 52 times they broadcast it since the original airing, you can find it anywhere on line. But the best analysis of what turns out to be part 1 of this interview can be found here:
7 Nonsensical Things Teresa And Joe Giudice Said On ‘WWHL’
That recap is done in exactly the spirit necessary to view anything at all on BravoTV.