Freckled

I just read some tabloid-style headline about 91-year-old Doris Day and how she’s surrounded by hangers on. In the article it mentions her only (deceased) son and displays a picture of him. I am very disappointed to learn that he was not the cop on Adam 12. Disappointed in myself. As I now can see quite clearly, Terry Melcher and Martin Milner are not the same person. I was confused by the pale hair and the potential for freckles.

Speaking of freckles, I’m convinced that the reason it’s so difficult to find a photo of Doris’ vaccination scar is is because of her freckles. Her studio shots are definitely touched up to eliminate freckles, scars and veiny hands – everything that isn’t smooth and creamy in other words.

It’s very very subtle but it’s there. I consider this a triumph of the same magnitude as when I was able to track down a full shot of Jackie O’s enormous feet which the Kennedy money has attempted to scrub from photographic archives. Anyway. Click to enlarge.

Not quite so creamy now, are we Dodo?

Hobby

Everybody can enhance their life by taking on a hobby and mine is collecting images of smallpox vaccination scars on celebrities. Joining Elizabeth Taylor and World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama, here is everybody’s favorite mom Joan Crawford making gaga eyes at a Samantha Stevens’ father in a 1934 movie. The luxurious  loops  of her satin cocktail dress really showcase the scar. Everybody had one then so it wasn’t remarkable but you don’t see them around so much now.

I doubt very much if an older and more powerful JC would have let this be seen by her adoring public.

In other hobbyish news, I cooked the best pot of chili con carne ever. You know that I cook as a hobbyist rather than a sustenance provider and the mood struck me yesterday.  The secret – which I will share with you now – is to add a can of Lime & Cilantro Rotel  and a bit of chopped up prosciutto. Hey look at this recipe for prosciutto cups with radish salad and mustard seed caviar. That looks easy enough.  Considering the fact that I now have 4 pounds of teeny black Beluga lentils in my possession, I might just go with that on top instead of the mustard seeds. Or maybe a mix. It’s going to take a lot of hors d’oeuvres to use up 4 pounds of lentils.

Also, who feels spring stirring in their breast today? I do.

Vaccinations Plus

Maybe I need more coffee but I’ve got to tell you that “blood-sucking trained spy nurse” sounds like a pretty good career move to me.

“The CIA organised a fake vaccination program in the town where it believed Osama bin Laden was hiding in an elaborate attempt to obtain DNA from the fugitive al-Qaida leader’s family, a Guardian investigation has found. They’re a bit thin on details about how this program actually worked, but they’re filling in the blanks with blood-sucking trained spy nurses and handbags kitted out with “electronic devices”..”

And now you tell me that this story the result of the mindless repetition of a single published conjecture reprinted endlessly by reporters and news outlets too lazy to do their own investigation. So now the only lasting legacy from this bit of nonsense is further suspicions of vaccinations.

Not to worry! No way will vaccinations fall out of favor once their original purpose of PREVENTING DISEASE and SAVING LIVES is no longer valued. How do I know this? Because a secondary reason to get vaccinated is becoming more popular around the world. Observe the Flickr group called “Sexy Women, Sexy Vaccination Scars”.  As one of the scar enthusiasts there puts it:

“Vaccination scar can be adornment of female body, and very asymetric done can be this adornment not, also I think medical personnel should not forget it, especially vaccinating women and girls – future women.”

So there. Even if the trained spy nurse thing doesn’t work out, I have a potential future as a Vaccination Esthetician. God bless America, land of endless opportunity.

Return Of The Angry Eyebrows

It’s been a while since I looked her over but apparently, World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™  Michelle Obama has re-hired her original make-up artist.

AAAAAND given up Botox? The Elevens have returned between those disapproving brows. And I guess this side shot is irrefutable evidence that she has indeed had a little bobbing done on her formerly bulbous nose. I was convinced it was was only that white stripe down the middle and some other painted-on enhancements that made it look slimmer and more attractive, but I can no longer deny.

Private message: MEECHIE! I didn’t know you had a scar from your chicken pox vaccination! Why have I never seen it before? Let’s be besties – I’m all about vaccinations. Did you have the H1N1? Are you getting one for Whooping Cough? Did you ever have a tetanus shot? Looks like you needed one for that wrist thing.

Elizabeth Taylor’s Vaccination and Other Things On My DVR

TCM is running a bunch of Elizabeth Taylor movies today. Everybody goes on and on about how she didn’t bother to conceal her tracheotomy scar in public but dig this: here is Maggie the Cat unashamedly displaying evidence of one hell of an immune system response to her childhood smallpox vaccination.

Dude, don’t you know any make-up artists?

Question: was there ever a Twilight Zone episode where the main character would see something on TV and then it would happen in real life? Or some time warp thing where the person thought it happened in real life and then saw it on TV but time was non-linear and it was really on TV first and that’s where the person got the idea in the first place?

Because I think my TV is messing with me.

I DVR a lot of stuff because I like to wake up early and watch that stuff while I’m alone having breakfast. It’s mostly old movies and documentaries. Here is a partial list of things that have freaked me out recently. I am not kidding about any of this.

• Your Cheatin’ Heart – George Hamliton as Hank Williams is sitting in the living room of his recently acquired bourgeois home trying to come up with a new song. On the coffee table in front of him is a big metal Western-style horse. The house was crammed with all manner of gaudy tschakas, an indictment on the appaling taste of Mrs. Williams, an implication which I fully reject.
• History Channel documentary about Inside The White House. It was filmed at the end of 2008. During one interview segment with George and Laura Bush, the President talks about stewardship fo the historic home and all the people who came before. The day after I watched it, I read a puff-piece online article that quoted the remarks of the current “president” almost word for word. I am so disturbed by this that I repressed the exact wording. There was a second point from that documentary that was credited to The Figurehead as well. Fer cryin’ out loud. He must laugh himself to sleep every night.
• I Can Get It For You Wholesale This 1951 movie about a strong-willed independent woman in the garment industry featured a scene where Susan Hayward has a disagreement with Dr. Zorba about whether or not to buy a large amount of pongee for their spring line. Susan wants it,  Dr. Zorba is afraid of the risky choice and Teddy the hot shot salesman thinks it’s old fashioned. They said “pongee” at least 6 times and then it never came up again in the movie. I THINK MY TV PUT IT IN THERE JUST FOR ME.

This actually happens to me a lot – I only documented these three things because they happened this weekend. Is this mere coincidence or am I right to be a little bit freaked out?