This Is Why Denver Is Annoying

subtitle: I’m tired and in a bad mood.

OMG with the Broncos already. Before the plane even landed, the pilot started yakking about the Broncos in between his ready-to-land patter. Then every touch point from the shuttle to the baggage carousel to the taxi to the hotel check in everybody had to blab about the Broncos.

This town is crazy about their football team under any circumstantial but throw in a little Superbowl on top of that and I tell you, it doesn’t look as if your average high-powered executive woman business traveler is not going to make it until the end of the week.

Also, you can’t get regular food here. It’s all deconstructed and fusion-ed and gawd knows what else.  I tried to keep it simple by ordering a burger from the hotel restaurant and the first thing they asked me was what temperature would I like it served at? What kind of question is that? I told them to burn it on one side and then turn it over and do it again. Then give me 2 beers to wash it down.

I successfully avoided conversation about the Featured Chili Style Of the Day. Why can’t people just let things alone? It’s a burger and a bowl of chili fer cryin’ out loud not a religious experience.

I’m sure they’re all gathered into a cluster over there  gossiping about how does a person not have a preferred burger temperature and waiting to get a look at me. I swear to gawd if they say something to me about the Broncos, I am going to give it to them right in the kisser with my whiskey onions and house-made bacon jam.


Update: I feel much better now after eating my  burger of unknown temperature. I didn’t even mind that they covered my flash fried Brussels sprouts with izakaya butter and peanut sofrito.




5 thoughts on “This Is Why Denver Is Annoying”

  1. Suz, they really can’t help it – they’re all stoned. My DSW and I were in the vicinity in September and found that most folks in the service industry have the Jamaican “no problem” attitude with the pretentious burger-temperature vibe instead of the happy tropical one.

    Oh, and their “free-range” children are a constant hazard.

  2. You are staying in a pretentious hotel. That’s the hotel being pretentious, not Denver at large. Go to, put in the address of the pretentious hotel, and get food delivered from someplace other than the snippy kitchen.

    Yep, you are going to hear lots about the Broncos this week and next. It’s the Super Bowl, it’s special. If you were in San Francisco and the 49ers were going to the Super Bowl, you’d hear nothing but 49ers stuff. It’s an exciting time for the fans. I say this as a Bronco fan who lives in the Pacific Northwest and who has worn Bronco shirts and/or jackets all week. Pretty much everybody in my workplace knows I’m a Bronco fan, and that’s just me in an individual workplace. Multiply that by thousands in Colorado.

    I hope you have a better time in Denver than your first impressions! It’s a great city with lots to do and very nice people, very few of whom are stoned. (Nor am I, and our state also has legal marijuana.)

  3. I personally have no idea what football is all about except that it has something to do with defense and offense and last year there was a lot of passionate language about how much air is/should be in the ball and why. But living in one of the states next door to Colorado causes me to have to listen to grown men and adolescent boys get all grunty and pissy about the Broncos at this time of the year and it’s tedious as hell. (Only to be rivaled by all kinds of angst in March by the same people getting all grunty and pissy about basketball.)

    Like you I prefer to save my passionate language for pretentious foodies. We would make a great tag team at a fusion restaurant. Bless their little hearts.

  4. I have no clue what “izakaya” butter and peanut “sofrito” are. Almost as good as “sausage and malaria,” to my ear. Still, and always, will “lol” at those. Pure genius.

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