Status Update

I’ve been thinking about myself a lot lately. Naturally, it is very time-consuming so there’s not much left for other activities. After a week away from the blog, this is what I’ve been pondering and the conclusions I’ve arrived at:

I know we’re all supposed to be too cool for this but God help me – I like it.

1. Cheap crappy fake wood trim on a car dashboard. I love it. Not only do I love what I have but I’m considering buying an after-market kit to stick it on more places in my car*. Because I love it that much.

new hobby

2. Vlasic Extra Zesty Bread and Butter Pickle Chips. The juice is to good to waste after all of the original pickles are gone. My only regret is that I didn’t have any cauliflower to stick in there.

3. Not beholden. When we moved into this house, my neighbor’s mother was about 60, 61. A short time later, my neighbor told me that her mother doesn’t go to Sunday Mass anymore because she pronounced that the Pope said when you’re 62, you don’t have to go to Mass anymore. There’s no such ruling, of course but I have to say that now that I am of an advanced age, I totally get where she was coming from. And that is going to be my go-to line from now on: “The Pope said I don’t have to”. Argue with that, bitches.

That’s about all I can talk about with any degree of certainty. I’m still pondering the rest of the lofty subjects that are keeping me busy.

Bonus: Ask me anything about Danville PA. Anything. Go ahead.

*I’ll have to enlist the steady hand of a young person to actually do the sticking. Did I mention that I can’t do anything right any more? Here – have a blackened biscuit and some flavorless chewy beef strips.

13 thoughts on “Status Update”

  1. I’ve missed you! Speaking of advancing age – my mother lived with us for the last five years of her life. I remember her saying “I just can’t do anything right anymore.” This ranged from cooking to any minor thing. Usually what she made was fine, but I think she had lost her confidence. Well – that’s me now. I really feel I can’t do anything right. It sucks. And it is depressing. This getting old business is not for sissies. At least my dogs still think I’m cool. Most of the time.

    1. Maybe she wasn’t so confident and maybe she was doing what I do/did…..
      .uh, my fingers aren’t strong enough to take the turkey out of the oven so you’ll have to cook Thanksgiving dinner at your house from now on……….
      .oh, my knees are bad, so I won’t be able to walk around the mall all day while you look for that red purse you saw in the magazine……
      .I can’t drive at night anymore, can’t see well, so you’ll have to pick me up and take me home.

      Hey, there has to be some benefit for being old and wrinkled.

  2. Love the Vlasic pickle idea. I do that with the leftover juice from jalapenos. Just slice fresh ones into the juice and a few days later: voila!

    I would have to look up Danville, PA on the map to decide what to ask you. That probably won’t happen. I’m in that old and forgetful stage.

      1. A nice young man named Thor (really!) showed us to our room. Nice comfortable place. We were there for the Phoenix Phall Phunfest at Knoebels Grove.

  3. You avatar of Stedman reminded me; I have new neighbors and they have a blonde corgi. Her name is Brandy. The man said there were 9 puppies in the littler and all the members of his family got one. Have to say, it’s the first time I have been this close to one.

  4. I miss you when you aren’t here.
    I have a hand tremor thing going on and sometimes I seem to lose the ability to swallow, but other than severe, chronic zero tolerance for stupidity, so far I’m aging ok. Oh, and I seem to have lost my mouth filter. Stuff just pops out, usually related to the above mentioned zero tolerance for stupidity.

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