Somebody Call the Whaaaambulance – Jane Fonda is “Deeply Disappointed”

How delicious is it that QVC pulled the rug out from under Jane Fonda? America has just voted with its pocketbook and QVC owner and mastermind Barry Diller is no dummy. Even though he and DVF, his wife are major contributors and supporters of the Dems, business is business. Recognizing that the vast majority of Americans – the fly-over ones, probably – have long memories, Jane got the hook. And she’s pissed.

“The network said they got a lot of calls yesterday criticizing me for my opposition to the Vietnam War and threatening to boycott the show if I was allowed to appear. I am, to say the least, deeply disappointed that QVC caved to this kind of insane pressure … Bottom line, this has gone on far too long, this spreading of lies about me! None of it is true. NONE OF IT!”  H. Jane Fonda

That’s the left for you. No recognition that people are capable of independent thought.

Dear Hanoi Jane,

There’s a little thing we have now called Google search. Look it up.

   signed, The Internet

So Fonda’s latest book is called Prime Time: Love, Health, Sex, Fitness, Friendship, Spirit.? Even if she got on the air with this thing, what exactly makes her an expert in any one of these topics? Let’s see –

• Love Oh this one is easy. When she was married to Roger Vadim, the couple practiced not only an open marriage but also a, how do you say,  swinger lifestyle. Forced into three-ways! And “other forms of group sex.” Hmmm. Quel domage! But is this strictly the definition of love? Or is it more like the love in “free love”? Not convinced that this qualifies her to give advice about actual love.
  
• Health Her mother had a long history of mental disturbance culminating in a messy suicide, her brother despite his own accidental gunshot wound a year later is now arming his grandchildren with long rifles and preparing to “start the future”. She herself has remarked that her father was notoriously distant and uncaring about his children. All that doesn’t sound too healthy, does it?
• Sex See above, Vadim.
• Fitness Love this one. Although she made a billion trillion dollars with her work out tape empire, her own fitness regime consited of  bullemia AND anorexia,  cosmetic surgery, and being born into a family with a  long lean body type. Vadim again! “Miss Fonda blames her relationship-with Vadim for the eating disorders that plagued her for much of her life. “I ceased eating except for crusts from his bread and rinds from his camembert,” she says.” Hoo-boy. The victim card
• Friendship This one was a stumper at first. Who exactly are Jane’s friends? The only clue the internet offers up is a 2010 event called The Very First Annual World Fitness Day with Jane Fonda and Celebrity Friends. My dears – it was THE fitness event of the year. Tickets $75. And through this we learn that Jane’s friends are Richard Simmons, Billy Banks,  Denise Austin and Sanjay Gupta.
• Spirit. How best to honor the spirit of our Native American ancestors? Two words: Tomahawk Chop. And Jane Fonda was right at the politically incorrect forefront, bless her heart.

Pity Ted Turner - the goofy filling in an asshole sandwich.

Unless none of this is true, either. Even though this incident too has photographic evidence for all eternity. NONE OF IT!