Wife, Interrupted

Posted on by Cripes Suzette

Uh oh.

two bagger

The newish husband of the World’s Ugliest Bride is taking a break from his banking job to spend a few months in Wyoming being a ski bum.

For reals.

The investment banker is forgoing work at New York-based hedge fund G3 Capital to hit the slopes for a few months in Jackson Hole, Wyo. Young Mr. Mezvinsky left his position right before the holidays and took off for Jackson Hole. He’s been there throughout January but DON’T WORRY. His bride of 6 months plans on visiting him every few weeks.

Entirely normal! Most newly wed couples live apart more than they live together the first year they’re married. But in the very unlikely event that reason for his extended visit to Wyoming isn’t exactly true, what could be going on?

 

Actually, I feel sorry for Chelsea. First, she’s got a stupid name. Second, she was born ugly, paid a bundle for cosmetic surgery and now her old face is growing back. She’s got a hound for a father and a mother who taught her how to eat whatever shit your husband hands you. Her grandmother was known as the patron saint of the $2 window, her uncle is a coke addict and her other uncle purposely chose to marry Barbara Boxer’s daughter. Also, she can’t eat gluten.

the happy couple in earlier times

 

Published by Cripes Suzette

She is made of blue-eyed sunshine, taffy tresses and swaying charms.

22 thoughts on “Wife, Interrupted”

    1. It’s true – I do have more unattractive sides than attractive ones. I;m just glad you didn’t click on the Cankles category. Long before there was MOO, there was Hillary.

      1. Damn! I knew you’d say something charming and funny that would make me fall in love with you all over again! Aye, you’re a clever one, you are.

  3. “Worlds ugliest Bride”….lol; can’t stop laughing!

    I agree, something isn’t right in the land of make-blief of rainbows, and unicorns.
    (still snickering)

  4. Now, now, let’s not be catty. The bridegroom is probably investigating a new investment challenge and needs to actually be on the slopes to see if there’s any interest in recreational ski-ing in the US. His father-in-law (President of the World per MSNBC) and his mother-in-law (Secretary of State per Obama) are keeping a close eye on him and are getting their checkbooks ready to make an investment guaranteeing that he will return to Chelsea’s bed.

    1. (Huffy tone of voice) “Well, I’ll be catty if I want to!” 🙂

      Now must figure out the short way to cast a vote in all of the categories. Impossible to choose.

  6. Not even one (year) and done. I always felt sorry for Chelsea. Can you imagine having a father who bonks interns? Poor thing.

  8. She is rather “plain” to put it mildly. In other words, she looks like she got whupped with an ugly stick. Or, fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Can’t feel sorry for her. She had a chance once she turned 18 to legally change her name and move away from her accidental parents. She chose to stick it out and look what she’s stuck with now..HAHAHA

  9. His family’s nothing to be proud of wither. National Enquirer says they are splitting.
    I thought they’d dates for quite a while before they married so I rather assumed they knew each other well enough for this to last more than 6 months.

  11. Heh! I’ll vote “Other”: ALL OF THE ABOVE.

    HowEVAH……..

    “Jackson Hole has 10 men to each woman. Just sayin’.”

    T’ain’t true. I have spent considerable time there (working, NOT playing). The dude:chick ratio varies with the age bracket, but tends to hover around 1:1, EXCEPT where one has to venture out into the REAL wilderness. And, y’know, braving the cold weather between the pub and the car door.

    And Mr. Mezvinsky has another factor in his favor: the Trust Baby™ population in Jackson Hole is well above the average norm (it’s their favoritist playground). As the typical Trust Baby™ comes from some wealthy family, I expect that he has quite a few acquaintances and friends of friends hanging around there.

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