Ladies Who Won’t Stop Talking

Brazen Couple Crash White House State Dinner – Then Blog About It

thanks, joe! we'll return the favor someday

These two – gotta love ‘em. On the Nerves of Steel scale, they get a big 10 but on the Awareness of Future Consequences scale, they are barely registering. Welcome to IRS audits, TSA searches and FBI tails for the rest of your lives, folks. If they just kept it to themselves, the only other person who would have known was the person they put the fix in with to let them in. My candidate for that role is good old Uncle Joe, pictured here in the midst of an over-familiar embrace. Poor old Barry – now the event will be known forever more as the night the WH security was crashed by two amateur social climbers instead of as the glittering state dinner in a tent.

Girly Man Has No Exit Strategy

Check out the video of Barry O pardoning the  Thanksgiving turkey. He stays on camera about three minutes too long.  Pronounces “Disneyland” 5 times during 5 mintue speech. Also intoned eloquent presidential-like phrases such as sucker and screw up. Teleprompter took off early for the  holiday, I guess.

at least he didn't bow to the turkey

MOO Keeps on Chewing the Service Cud

Good lord , does this woman never stop yammering? MOO made a “heartfelt” statement for Thanksgiving that included a single sentence of gratitude, a wallop of guilt, a pitch for the service organization and a step by step directive of what “Barack and I” want you to do next.  Meanwhile, her husband spent his time issuing  a special Hajj message  to the world’s muslims. Swear to Allah, he did.

How Now MOO Cow?

From Our Department of You Can Dress Her Up But You Can’t Take Her To A Tent:

In a display unprecedented for a first lady, World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama hunches forward  and eats with her fingers at a White House state banquet.  This is historic – no first lady has ever done this at a formal state dinner before. Moments later, she was seen hiding behind her hands attempting to avoid detection as she sucked food bits out of her teeth:

pinch me

So … how’d I do with the MOO outfit prediction? Let’s take a look:

It was just as shiny as could be, wasn’t it? I was right about the simplicity of the gown and also about the presence of the wrap, but I had assumed it would actually be used to cover some of that flesh. What a disappointment to me that no tiara like thing was evident in her hairdo, but there certainly COULD have been something in there. We may never know. Her jewelry was indeed restrained as she limited herself to only two 5″ long earrings and 24 bracelets.

I can find no pictures of her footwear to determine if they were flats or heels, but evidently MOO has no qualms about towering over her guests. In fact, it seems quite a deliberate move on her part to not only tower on level ground but to take any measure possible to dwarf tiny  dignitaries even further by forcing them to stand one step down.

howdja do?

All in all, the evening  was a major success for our gal MOO. Here she is giving herself the partial Squint of Approval and the Prune Face of Delight.

Little Eye of Mirth

And so my friends, the secret  of the Little Eye is revealed. It’s not Little Eye at all – she’s winking with delight!

Overall, I Seem To Be Crying More Than Usual Lately

I cried again last night. I caught the tail end of Trip to Bountifull and I was overcome.

Gawd, that Geraldine Page. Was there ever a finer actress in all the history of the world? I think not. I wish DVD makers would offer compilations of a single person’s work, the way they do with TV series.

Looking Forward

Hillary Mansfield Clinton

I’m looking forward to seeing World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama’s outfit for the Obama WH state dinner honoring the Indian Prime Minister this week. I fully expect that MOO will appear ina  flattering outfit that is classy and traditional. This one is for the history books and she knows that these are the photos that are going to be trotted out and compared to other First Ladies. She won’t risk looking bad next to not only Jackie O but the surprisingly elegant Hilary Clinton, so she’ll bow to professional advice and appear in something age-appropriate, flattering and elegant.

I’ve seen it written that she appears in a great (read: not awful) outfit about 1 in 10 times. I disagree. The ratio is far more unbalanced than that. This time, I’m quite confident that she won’t insist on any of her garish and off-putting style signatures and select something that disguises  that freakishly short torso and minimizes the protruding butt.

My predictions about her gown:

• it will be extremely shiny
• it won’t have  ruffles, layers or a belt
• she’ll wear low-heeled shoes under it for the dual purpose of underplaying that  lumbering gait and to reduce the effect of towering over her guests in the photos
• her jewelery will be traditional and restrained but she’ll have something sparkling worked into her hair to evoke a frigging tiara
• there will be some kind of shawl or shoulder wrap as a nod to the sari

I further predict that in a few weeks, we’ll be subjected to official White House photos of Malaria and Sausage gazing up at their mother as she gets dressed for the occasion.

Pop Culture Alert

Something is going on – something suspicious. Both Michael’s and AC Moore have drastically reduced their selection of Wilton items. I can’t think what this is about but I do know this: it can’t be good for the American consumer. I will update you with immediate situation changes should any arise.

Fresh With a Fun Vintage Vibe

omg

Right now, I’m sitting here silently pulsating with excitement. Vera is back .

Did you know this?  The Vera Company apparently “owns the extensive library of prints, original artwork, scarves, and the trademarks and copyrights of the late, iconic American artist, Vera Neumann.” To which I say OMG.

Check it out: a new Vera Xmas tablecloth for sale at Macy’s.

Now if I can only find a brown incense owl and a wool trench coat done up in a brown and camel herringbone pattern, it will be just as though the last several decades didn’t even happen.

oh yeah

(I should also point out that there is a Vera Thanksgiving-type tablecloth pattern available too, but I’m already thinking past that holiday.) (Although, now that I think about it, that might be a good match for my stun gun yellow warm gold kitchen.)

$2.97 Well Spent

I can tell you with great confidence that we’ll be painting the kitchen Warm Gold. We pretty much settled on the color but the clincher was the little color tester bottle that covers 3 square feet so that you can get a real idea of what the final product will look like by risking only $2.97. What happiness.

Warm Gold is a bit deceptive as a description. Yellow Stripe Down The Middle of the Road might be a better one, but it’s just what I want.