I really wish Hollywood would get out of the hairdo business. It’s all about hair that looks like you didn’t comb it when you got out of the shower. And no variety whatsoever. So many attractive women walking around with witches hair, which they will come to regret when looking at photos 10 years from now.
Did you know that I have a ponytail now? Not willingly – it just sort of happened due to long work days and constant weekend travel to see my nephew in another state*. No time for beauty. Once things calmed down, my hair was almost long enough to make a French Twist which is a thing I have been thinking about. I’d like to wear it at least once in my life so maybe now is my time.
Also, I’ve been a little depressed. So not only is my hair much longer than usual, I haven’t had it highlighted since November. My natural dark blond shade is not that much different from the bright blond highlighted shade I always get, but and now I’m not positive about this but I think I’m seeing some gray hairs mixed in there. I don’t look at it too long – just a glimpse in mirrors that I pass. But sometimes the light catches a strand here and there and it makes me a bit uneasy.
Combine all this information with the fact that summer is almost here and I don’t want to be weighed down and sweaty because of a lot of hair and that means its time to give up the French Twist delusion and head for the salon. So I’m using the power of the internet to search for “Flattering Hairstyles For ____ ” Fill in the blank with round faces or mature women or whatever you want because it won’t make any difference at all what your search comes up with. I was following links around and landed on “Flattering Hairstyles for Sagging Jowls”. I swear to God – this is a big internet category for hairdos. And THIS is what came up:
Seriously? First of all, the only area that is not covered by hair here is where a sagging jowl would be. Second, if you want to demonstrate a good jowl haircut, do not use a model with a chiseled jaw line. Third, unless you are a porn star or maybe an actress in one of those fake women’s empowerment commercials that turns out to be an ad for low fat yogurt, where are you going with this?
You know what? The internet is full of shit. Check this out:
Don’t you think it would be more honest if the header said Best Glasses For Older Women Who Want to Look Like Larry “Bud” Melman ? Now ponder this helpful tip:
Linked text: How to Tell If It’s Time for a Makeover
First sentence on linked page: If you haven’t changed your frames or glasses in the past few years, it’s time for a makeover.
OH THANK YOU. I WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN WITHOUT THIS HELPFUL TIP.
I can’t take it any more. I am going to smooth out my pony tail and plant the Sweet 100s I bought yesterday. Maybe some coiffurial inspiration will come to me by looking at plant life for a while.
not even for halloween
*reviving an old favorite The Circumstances In Which I Find Myself