Listenin’ and Lookin’

Apologies all around. I complain that there are not any blogs left to read and yet here I am neglecting my own blog. I haven’t been able to get anything down here because I am dealing with the worst haircut ever. That’s not true. I’m just busy . Really busy. In the meantime, here are 4 ladies who give us things to think over. The first two are from Our Department of Forget What I Said Before Pay Attention To What I’m Saying Now

  1. Jenny McCarthy isn’t really against vaccinations.

related: Jenny McCarthy Body Count

2.Wendy Davis isn’t really familiar with this abortion of which you speak.

3. Next, we have two lady power brokers from the O Squad. Valerie Jarret drops by Hollywood to chit chat about inserting pro-Obamacare messages into scripts. You can tell this is a friendly, casual sort of visit – take it or leave it, its up to you! – because ValJar has chosen to dress as if she just popped off the tour bus of Hollywood Stars homes.

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I suppose she’s showing off her fabulously toned arms?

Although she did take the time to find matching pumps. Shorts and high-heels. It’s a look, I guess. One thing I do like about this woman is that she always has the same hairdo no matter what the occasion.  America needs something it can depend on nowadays and that thing is ValJar’s hair helmet.

4. Poor little Kathleen Sibelius has left HHS. Now well never know if she was planning an information campaign about the physical danger of having a larger than normal head.

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Sad Kathy

I’ve seen her in person and she is a very petite gal with an enormous head. As you can see, even  some over enthusiastic eyebrow plucking on one side can be enough to tip the balance.

My Kingdom For A Decent Foundation Garment!


News item: Prince Charles, Camilla celebrate 9 years of marriage That, of course, is not the real news item here as any woman anywhere can immediately tell you. The patriarchy, I tell you again, is not properly equipped to provide insight into news events. Accompanying this article is a link to a slide set showing the happy couple over the years. It only takes two clicks to understand in a very practical way what it really means to have the power, the wealth and resources of the British Empire at your disposal:

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Is that the best old lady bra you have ever seen in your life? YES!

Time passes, gravity does it’s inevitable work and the boobs of rich and poor alike head southward. This is clearly a case of  “it’s not what happens to you in life – it’s how you handle what happens to you” and Camilla has called upon the Royal Corsetier for a boost, so to speak. dndwI have to say, I’ve never been a Camilla  fan but even the slim and elegant Duchess of Windsor couldn’t pull this off. Oh, she was pretty great at getting her couturiers to design garments that pleated or bunched up around the critical area so one could not tell exactly what was where but camouflage isn’t  the same as mechanics and in this area, Camilla wins it hands down.

And its not just a matter of time and technology, either. Gaze upon some Camilla’s contemporaries – prominent American ladies who have ample means and devoted designers but have not been able to match Camilla’s accomplishment. These three are of different boob situations but the common thread is that they are all a mess. First,  we have a woman who is declared and accepted to be a world famous fashion icon. Michelle Obama’s boobs are disproportionately small for her bulk overall but … oh, heck I don’t even know how to put this into words and I bet you can’t either. What in the world is going on there?

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Then they came for the shapewear and there was no one left to speak.

But big or small, high or low, all boobs start to droop sooner or later and America’s unofficial ambassador of style and beauty has chosen the push up method instead of Camilla’s pull up strategy. The choice of an in-your-face external device instead of  a more demure undergarment says exactly who she is and failure to speak out against this declasse move says a lot about American citizenry  under the dominion of our betters. First they came for the cardigans and I did not speak out because I don’t wear cardigans.

Another member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee is our beloved Hillary Rodham Clinton.

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Her boobs are the least of it. Amirite?

Seriously, her boobs are not her biggest style problem but boobs and bras are the topics at hand here so let’s focus there. Hillary is an older lady and surely her small boobs are sagging but we might never know because wearing tops that actually fit is not one of her priorities. She might not even wear a bra for all we know. And I think it goes without saying that location of bust darts be damned. Question: Has Nancy Pelosi ever had breast augmentation? Or are those the cantalupos the good Lord gave her?

… aaand the suns set over the Democrat empire.

Good Lord, woman – get a winch hoist for those things, would you? You only own all of San Francisco and half of Baltimore so make an investment in yourself, would you? I’ve got to think that this is where Camilla’s royal boobs would be without her marvelous brassiere task force. American women in the political spotlight would do well to learn a lesson here.

 

The Joy of Greeting Cards

I opened a box today that I thought was framed pictures from the old house but it turned out to be a memorabilia that was stored in my mother’s attic. Right on top encased in a sticky plastic bag was my lost silk orchid wedding bouquet looking much less tasteful than I remembered it. Among the assortment were a few random greeting cards, including this one:

wc

eyes wide open

Art imitates art, I guess and this image seems to be modeled on a popular book of its time.

Other items in the box:

  • two student nurse uniforms
  • a pearly pink ceramic jewelry box
  • a ceramic graduation girl standing on a cloud emblazoned with gold script detailing my HS graduation
    • the cloud base contains many many inexpensive religious medals and some detachable garter hooks from an old girdle
  • 4 assorted greeting cards
  • a padded silk keepsake card from my confirmation
  • 3 girl scout badges and a sheet of 4th grade geography homework , all belonging to my daughter
  • a cigar box holding 12 White Owl New Yorkers with custom wrappers proclaiming “OUR WEDDING DAY”
  • a dozen high school wallet-sized pictures of other HS graduates
  • a program from my nursing school’s Dedication Night noting (between the main address and the candle lighting) choral selections I Believe and Climb Every Mountain, then  the recitation of the Florence Nightingale Pledge, immediately followed by another choral selection:  Let There Be Peace On Earth
  • a 3″ lapel pin making the wearer an Official Bicentennial Belle
  • two dozen glow-in-the-dark key rings all in the shape of a number one from various pizza places, body shops and municipal contractors

[worknotes for the forthcoming novelette Suzette, A Life]

 

BREAKING NEWS!

This morning, I struggle out of my blogging coma to report an event of great excitement: The creek workers have returned and they brought two truckloads of shrubbery with them.

Thank goodness that the dog got his early morning barking out of the way before this happened.

March 27, 2014 – 8:30 am: Thank goodness that the dog got his early morning barking out of the way before this happened.

They won’t give any shade and so far they seem to be all one type of arbor vitae – which I love but I question the lack of foresight in the selection of single specimens over mixed varieties – but they will effectively screen the dog walkers and looky loos from Stedman’s line of sight and cut down on the overall amount of aroo-ing that goes on here. And so I am officially thrilled.

Also, deer are the new rabbits. Look what they did to the branches of my mature bushes over the winter.

On the right side of this photo, behind the bare tree branches, you can barely make out the round, dark head of The Poodle talking to a creek worker in a green vest. He’s probably asking  how soon he can bring his dog around to pee all over the new shrubbery.

UPDATE:

better than nothing

March 27, 2014 – 12 Noon: better than nothing

This is not going to reduce the amount of barking around here sad face but if the good Lord is willing AND THE CREEK DON’T RISE I’ll live long enough to see these grow tall and fill out.

I am somewhat less excited than I was three hours ago.

Famous Blue Raincoat

These are the trench coats that I have owned in my lifetime:

Fullscreen capture 3232014 122650 PM1. A navy blue London Fog raincoat with ivory buttons and a big north-south silver buckle. This was during my Bachelorette  Big City Nurse period. Gawd, you should have seen me. I cinched that belt as tight as it would go and always had a blocky red, white and blue silk scarf at my neck. I’d like to say it was a Vera scarf but I know it wasn’t. Picture me hustling along East 76th street  on my immaculate white  Clinic 502s. This get up looms so large in my personal history that I had to recreate it here with products currently listed on eBay.

2.A white lightweight unlined trench coat made of 100% polyester inside and out. This thing was totally unbreathable  so I never closed it but that worked out very well because the thing would billow behind me as I walked. It was fabulous. I don’t think I ever used scarves with this one because well, it was fabulous all on its own. I felt like I could wear anything and be suitably chic by topping it off with the white trenchcoat. Because it was all polyester, I could never wash any marks out of it so its glory faded over time and I had to stop wearing it.

3. A taupe water resistant trench coat with a removable wool lining. I think I bought this one from JC Penneys. I never wore the lining but I always wore a floral scarf around my neck which did double duty as a babushka in heavy rain. I remember wearing it one cold rainy night when Sami was out of town and I had to use an after-school baby sitter.  I worked a full shift, got the coat and the babushka soaked between the hospital and the car, picked up the kids and then a McDonald’s dinner  and got us all back to the house to eat at the kitchen table. My kids weren’t used to either the baby sitting situation or a McDonald’s dinner and so they were quiet (for a change) as we ate. I wonder if they were experiencing the same gratitude that I was  because we were together in a warm house with hot food front of us. How lucky we were then that this wasn’t our daily routine.  To this day, I think about that night. I’m not saying this was a scene from a Lifetime movie about a mother struggling alone to hold it all together, but when it comes down to it – food, shelter and people who love you. That’s it.

4. A black lightweight unlined trench coat made of 100% polyester inside and out. It’s the exact same coat as the white one so I think I  must have gotten it from a catalog. I did wear an oblong scarf of cream, gold and black design with it. I still have the scarf and I think the coat might still be around but if it is, I haven’t worn it in years and I am not attached to it in any way at all.