Florida woman. Former Jersey girl/Jersey driver. Likes hairspray, the beach and cutting you off on the A1A.
Twitter makes me sick right now and nobody cares what I do on Instagram so I’m turning to my trusty old blog to express myself. In the spirit of healing a divided country, I am opening this space for us all to come together on at least this one topic:
I HAVE SEEN ENOUGH OF PRINCESS MARKLE’S PIPE CLEANERS TO LAST ME A LIFETIME.
Discuss.
Has anyone started a class action suit against PAAS for their irresponsible release of inferior egg dye this year? Because I am 100% on board with that.
Let me tell you something – I’ve been using PAAS Color Cups for a number of years but this is the first time that PAAS color has let me down. Below are some comparative photos of the evolution of these sad eggs over a 10 hour period:
I thought it was just me but we had Easter dinner at my brother-in-law’s home and his eggs were exactly the same blotchy mess. He is fastidious about the details of presentation so I have to assume he was the victim of the same inferior PAAS Color Cup situation.
How many Easters have they ruined this year? Enjoy your profits, PAAS executive decision makers, borne on the backs of disappointed egg dying customers. They paid the price. Think about that while you’re out enjoying the evil fruits of your profiteering machinations.
I would also like to point out that the dye is not the only evidence of corner-cutting going on here. The cups themselves have devolved from the colorful and sturdy American plastic of the originals to flimsy clear plastic of the sort that they’d probably have in Soviet Russia. There was a mid-step in there of tinted translucent plastic but that probably ate up too much of the PAAS profits and some junior exec likely had to make do with last year’s yacht, so they had to go.
I made a mistake this week and chose form over function. Which is nothing new for me. In fact, it’s my default mode. But you’d think I would have known better this time.
When we moved into this house, it already had a super fancy kitchen faucet that had a retractable sprayer but also 2 (two!) motion-detecting sensors that automatically started water flow. That sounds like a good thing, right? That’s what we thought and we were thrilled to be living in modern times. But 2 out of 5 times we go near the sink, we receive unwanted wetness. We laugh about it and call that faucet “the enemy” and have developed some weird approach movement patterns to try and stay dry.
So you would think I would have known enough to resit the urge to get a dish soap dispenser activated by an electronic motion detector. But no. And guess what’s happening now.
Yes. Little 1/2″ pools of emerald green dish soap slobbing up the countertop. And that’s now when it’s in its permanent spot. During the short trip from the counter where I unboxed it and filled it up to the resting spot next to the tap there were at least 6 surprise dispensing incidents.
It looks good, though right? Unless I go broke from excessive dish soap purchases, I think I’m going to keep it. Expect kvetching!
This is not the main reason that I’m moving to Florida, but I have to tell you that one of the heretofore unrealized benefits of doing so means that I no longer have to scroll through the drop down when selecting my state on the internet.
Maybe that’s not a big deal to you. If you live in Arizona or California, you’ve probably never even thought about it. But I’m telling you – this is big for me. Mostly because of the trauma I had to suffer in childhood because my last name started with a Y. Let me tell you something – elementary school would collapse in upon itself if it had to give up doing things in alphabetical order. I cannot and will not recite the indignities heaped upon those poor little lambs of us that had to line up in alphabetical order. Let me just give you two fragments of dialogue from unsympathetic teachers:
(Isn’t what an awful message? FYI – the chocolate milk costs 1c more than the white. Do you think I ever got those pennies back? It was a bad bad day when both of those things happened – swindled out of my pre-paid chocolate milk PLUS living through the anxiety of eyeing up the condition of the crayon boxes as the line moved forward and realizing that the new boxes were going to go to kids that couldn’t even draw. THEN the utter lack of teacher interest in my plight. No wonder I’m so screwed up.)
And then, to spend the whole of my internet life in New Jersey, where you must scroll though a 1990s style list to find the state name to select. And that brings me to my real gripe here: why has there been no advancement in technology since the state selection drop down was invented? I’ll tell you why – because it’s available and it works well enough. Never mind that people who live in states that come after Iowa would like a little break once in a while. It’s 2016! Move along. Program something that will show a list of state abbreviations as you start to type the first letter into a text box.
But noooooooo. That apparently is too much trouble. You would think that the Microsoft people who are headquartered in WASHINGTON for heavens sake would have thought this up by themselves.
So anyway, Florida – in the top 5th of the state list by alphabetization. I deserve this. Envy me if you must – I understand.
Also, I am going to be one of those people who sends out v annoying Florida-themed Christmas cards this year. I was thinking this:
but Sami will never go for that. He can’t even tolerate cards that don’t reference the religious meaning of Christmas even if they have decorated trees, snowmen , cardinals, stockings etc. on them. I’ll never get him on board with this. The pre-made selections that I’ve been able to locate so far are pretty boring , let me tell you. Santa in shorts, trees decorated with shells and starfish – that kind of thing. (Unless once I get down there and the stores are filled with a plentiful selection of interesting Florida-themed Christmas cards?). Otherwise I am going to have to photoshop up an anthropomorphic orange in a Santa hat to use as our card this year.
Today is the last day in National Nurses Week 2016. I used to make a big deal about this but as the role of nurses became less and less respected, I drifted away from it. but old habits die hard and I feel like notice should be taken. So from the lofty ideals of nursing pioneers like Florence nightingale and Clara Barton, it’s come down to this:
That’s right. School nurses on a budget have the pity of the Etsy crowd. At first I took offence to this, thinking this was more appropriate for a volunteer girl scout leader than a professional nurse but then I realized school nurses are more school than nurse. And so the tremendous amount of school taxes being shelled out by the Average Working Joe population is funneled into union coffers and salary & benefits for individuals, leaving precious little to fund things like an adequately stocked nurse’s office.
So maybe I was too quick to judge. In the early days, nurses were making their own bandages in the filed so the Crimea and cooking nutritious food in tent kitchens – dish washing is only one step away from that.
Join me in a trip down memory lane to catch up on some well-known nurses:
Cripes Suzette 