Holiday Dinner Stress

Dear Abby,

I’m excited that we’re going to my brother-in-law’s home for Christmas Eve dinner this year. He’s making some family favorites including stuffed grape leaves, which is a big big plus and the beloved Egyptian favorite known as Molokhia, which I CANNOT EVEN YUCK DOUBLE YUCK GAG HOW DO I GET OUT OF GOING NOW?

Abby, people love this stuff but it is so gross to even think about, let alone look at.   I don’t know if I can sit at the table with people who are eating it. I certainly don’t want to to cause any problems by gagging while others are enjoying their meal, so I think it’s best if I stay home. The problem is, the next generation is going to be with us here in Florida for the holidays – my Philadelphia daughter , my California son and daughter-in-law and my brother-in-law’s Brooklyn son and daughter-in-law. It’s the first time we’ve all been in the same place for Christmas and if I stay home because of molohkia , that’s what’s going to be remembered.

What do I do, Abby? Go and risk puking at the table or stay home and be forever known as an uncooperative and judgmental food xenophobe?  I don’t want to create unpleasantness but seriously, have you ever seen this stuff?  Please leave your answer in the comments.

signed,

Already Nauseated In Amelia Island

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Author’s Note: The texture of molokhia soup is variously described as viscous, slippery, mucilaginous, slimy, gelatinous. I believe you get it – think sinus discharge the color of spinach.

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UPDATE: Sami came in and completely rejects my position on molohkia. He says it’s not just ordinary soup but always associated with a special occasion. Then he started singing a song from his childhood about devotion to the vile concoction. Here’s his translation:

Molohkia molohkia

It’s an Egyptian dish

It nourished us 

And without it we won’t have good health

We will eat it with a spoon

 And we’ll lick out fingers after that

And we are praying for God to bless Felicia who made it for us

I don’t think you’re going to find this little ditty anyplace else on the internet. You’re welcome.

 

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10 thoughts on “Holiday Dinner Stress

  1. Oh, dear. Well, I would strive to be delicately indisposed in the bathroom or a bedroom while the noxious – I mean to say, lovely – soup is on the table. No one need know why you’ve taken such an interest in the wallpaper… Good luck, Nauseated!

  2. Unreal. What is wrong w people. Just today I was forced into taking a bite of eggplant Parmesan. I don’t like vegetable that are soft like that. They all know this.
    Why would you do such a thing to someone?? Leave me alone w the meatballs.

  3. I was a Foreign Service spouse serving all over in Africa and Asia. I used to take some of everything with s smile and push it around on the plate and sort of pretend to eat. The chunks of sheep-tail fat on a toothpick at drinks parties I did sneak into many a potted palm.

  4. Sounds like a friend’s situation where her ex makes this tomato aspic that gags maggots. She divorced him for numerous other reasons years ago, but he still inflicts it on her son. They openly make fun of it without partaking, but these are clearly not options for you. Excusing yourself momentarily to the loo has been offered already, but a more altruistic option might be to contrive some kitchen task needing someone’s immediate attention (preferably a seasoned Nurse). Or, bolt to put club soda on the food spot you adroitly clumsily put on yourself.

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