Number 9 Number 9 Number 9

ddThis is not the main reason that I’m moving to Florida, but I have to tell you that one of the heretofore unrealized benefits of doing so means that I no longer have to scroll through the drop down when selecting my state on the internet.

Maybe that’s not a big deal to you. If you live in Arizona or California, you’ve probably never even thought about it. But I’m telling you – this is big for me. Mostly because of the trauma I had to suffer in childhood because my last name started with a Y. Let me tell you something – elementary school would collapse in upon itself if it had to give up doing things in alphabetical order.  I cannot and will not recite the indignities heaped upon those poor little lambs of us that had to line up in alphabetical order. Let me just give you two fragments of dialogue from unsympathetic teachers:

  • “Sorry! No chocolate milk left! You can have the white if you want it. “
  • “So, they’re broken. so what? They’re still the same colors and when you’re done with your picture, no one will ever know that you had to use broken crayons.”

(Isn’t what an awful message? FYI – the chocolate milk costs 1c more than the white. Do you think I ever got those pennies back? It was a bad bad day when both of those things happened  – swindled out of my pre-paid chocolate milk PLUS living through the anxiety of eyeing up the condition of the crayon boxes as the line moved forward and realizing that the new boxes were going to go to kids that couldn’t even draw. THEN the utter lack of teacher interest in my plight. No wonder I’m so screwed up.)

And then, to spend the whole of my internet life in New Jersey, where you must scroll though a 1990s style list to find the state name to select. And that brings me to my real gripe here: why has there been no advancement in technology since the state selection drop down was invented? I’ll tell you why – because it’s available and it works well enough. Never mind that people who live in states that come after Iowa would like a little break once in a while. It’s 2016! Move along. Program something that will show a list of state abbreviations as you start to type the first letter into a text box.

But noooooooo. That apparently is too much trouble. You would think that the Microsoft people who are headquartered in WASHINGTON for heavens sake would have thought this up by themselves.

So anyway, Florida – in the top 5th of the state list by alphabetization. I deserve this. Envy me if you must – I understand.

Also, I am going to be one of those people who sends out v annoying Florida-themed Christmas cards  this year. I was thinking  this:


but Sami will never go for that. He can’t even tolerate cards that don’t reference the religious meaning of Christmas even if they have decorated trees, snowmen , cardinals, stockings etc. on them. I’ll never get him on board with this. The pre-made selections that I’ve been able to locate so far are pretty boring , let me tell you.  Santa in shorts, trees decorated with shells and starfish – that kind of thing. (Unless once I get down there and the stores are filled with a plentiful selection of interesting Florida-themed Christmas cards?).  Otherwise I am going to have to photoshop up an anthropomorphic orange in a Santa hat to use as our card this year.


6 thoughts on “Number 9 Number 9 Number 9”

  1. I feel your pain, I live in Virginia. Anything that involves scrolling risks my hitting the Airplane Mode on my laptop. No little pop up to warn me “Are You Sure You Want Be Thrown Off Line Without Warning Dumass?” #FirstWorldProblem 😀

  2. Happily, my last name started with a B in grade school, so I was often #2-4. Very rarely did they have mercy on the other end of the alphabet and do Reverse Order. I’m getting my comeuppance now as I scroll down to W on the state list.

  3. I was smack in the middle of the alphabet and so had little interest in which way the Authorities started the alpha-based processes. I was more worried when we lined up by height. Stress is relative.

    Kudos to the web pagers that let us type in the first letter since Louisiana has exclusive territorial rights to “L” (though typing “N” usually brings you to that logjam).

    On the Christmas Cards, I’d point out that Florida pictures can include sand, palm trees and searing sunlight which are all found in the Holy Land. Not to mention inns out the WA-ZOO.

  4. If you’re in a state with multiple competing states in the alphabet, you can just continually hit the letter until yours comes up. Six m’s in a row brings me to MN (Minnesota) unless the site has added military codes as well.

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