Have you, dear reader, ever wondered who I really am? I’ll be glad to tell you. I’m a big deal in my own small world. I like to present myself humbly, as one of the people because my prime motivator is that everyone should like me*. I’m extremely deferential and always share credit with others for any accomplishment that is mine. But! If anyone should dare not show the respect that I think I deserve, my first thought is to ask them “Don’t you know who I am?” My second thought is remembering when John Lennon pulled that and realizing that there’s a risk that the person will respond “You’re some asshole with a Kotex around your head.” And so I resist the impulse to say that out loud.
On the other hand, if anyone should ask me who I am, I have a hard time stopping myself from saying “I am a jelly donut.” But I don’t say that either because while that is hilarious to me, most people I deal with can’t tell you who Marilyn Monroe is, let alone recognize a humorous reference to an iconic speech from a dead Kennedy. **
The lesson here, I think, is that I should probably have more conversations with other people and fewer with myself.
*They don’t. Unbelieveable, right?
** All Internet references to Berliner/jell donut now claim that JFK did not make an error, that German cartoonists and newspapers around the world all got it wrong at the same time. Ill-gotten Kennedy money at work, rewriting history. Go ahead and try to find an internet image of Jackie’s enormous feet. – Kennedy money wiped those records out too. maybe Onassis money, but same concept.