Refusing To Learn From History 

I know it’s wrong, but I’m very excited about yesterday’s release of Martha Stewart’s latest book Appetizers. It’s wrong because I acknowledge these might not be her recipes, the recipes she publishes are often untested, incorrect or flat-out failures and this isn’t even her first -or tenth for that matter -book about appetizers, horz devorz, finger foods, party snacks or canapés.

I just can’t resist her.

Have you seen her latest TV effort Martha Stewart’s Cooking School? You can’t look away! It’s the most unschooled-like cooking school you’ve every seen – she crams 4 feature dishes plus a bonus recipe into 30 minutes and there’s no actual education just a bunch of prepared ingredients being mixed together and cooked up. And yet it’s positively mesmerizing.

olive-cheese-loaf-mblb2007_vertIn fact, I have a block of Gruyere cheese and some shockingly green pitted olives in my fridge for about 2 months now because I was planning to make a more complicated bread than I’d ever attempt otherwise because I saw her do it on the show. I still have hope that is going to happen.*

Anyway, Appetizers. Even thought there’s a snowball’s chance that I would ever make an entrance behind a platter full of Smoked Trout And Garlic Creme On Rye Toast , I like to believe that I’m the kind of person who very well might.

Love you, Martha.

*disclosure: I ate those olives a long time ago.


9 thoughts on “Refusing To Learn From History 

  1. I have never been a fan of Martha. I get that she is (or was) a great caterer, and she sure knows how to guild the lily. I’m more of a Nigella Lawson kind of person. Not that Nigella’s recipes are hers either.

    Right now I’m infatuated with Chef’s Steps, which is short clips full of young hipsters making specific items or dishes, usually with a soux vide setup. The most entertaining cooking show I’ve seen in quite some time.

  2. This post here is one of the reasons I love you so much!

    And I will secretly say, just between you and me, I love Martha too.

    In the antique biz, back in the day, we used to joke about “the heavy hand of Martha Stewart.” When she had greenware on her show, every antique store had greenware. If it was milkglass, or lustre ware, or soda fountain glasses….we all had it. And it would fly off the shelves, but only until we whatever she said the next big thing was going to be. Then you couldn’t give away whatever the last big thing was.

    But then! She started this thing where once a year or something, she would devote an issue of her magazine to all her mistakes. Admitting things like the milkglass craze that failed to take off or that lustre wear was dead. And eventually the heavy hand of Martha Stewart became weaker and weaker. And now few people remember it at all.

    But still, I love her. Now she has the street cred of having been in jail, she’s become the sort of kooky female version of Emeril, her latest show is just wacko, and she likes to fly drones. What’s not to love?!

    • Martha seems a lot more fun and a little bit more flexible since she was released from prison.Speaking of which, remember that gawdawful poncho she wore for the cameras that day – the one made by a fellow inmate? Tells me that she understands the importance of loyalty and keeping her word. One hopes that has transferred over to recipe testing, but I don’t know that for sure.

      Also, she spanked Andy Cohen with a bat on a Watch What Happens episode recently. As you say, what’s not to love?

  3. Damn. Now I want some extra fine ground salt, and a little ceramic dish to serve this on. There is no measurable chance I’ll ever make it. No one would ever, even if they were delusional, think I’m a person who would serve any appetizer. Except maybe squeeze cheese on saltines.

      • Still too much work. I would never never never do it, but I like thinking/knowing that there are people who do. It makes life a little more bearable. Small victories.

  4. The only ‘appetizer’ I serve any more is a bowl of nuts. This is much easier, and saves room for my well-meaning dinners, which I try to serve before anyone gets drunk, this effort is not always successful.

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