Hillary’s latest campaign kick-off yesterday was a bit of a bore. Her means of arrival was most disappointing – her armored Scooby van drove in over the bridge. That was it.No spraying water from the tugs. No cooling breeze from a helicopter descent. Not even the Rocky theme song blaring from speakers hidden in the trees to underscore her continual yapping about being “a fighter”.
And so I guess we’re going to have to focus on other aspects of of the event. namely, Hillary’s appearance. Now I have no quibble at all abut her pants suit. The color was good, the cut was flattering. Maybe the pants hems could have settled in a better place, but that is a minor issue. No the thing I loved most about her outfit was the visible Spanx line.
Don’t know what Spanx actually are? They’re long leg power panties. Doesn’t that seem exactly right for our gal Hill? Power Panties! Can’t you just imagine the scene when Hillary is pumping up for a public appearance and the ever-present Huma is helping out by keeping up a stream of motivational chatter Put on your POWER PANTIES woman and go fight for the common people or the economy or whatever it is that your audience wants to hear today!
One battle that Hillary has already won is the right to wear garish and heavily applied make-up. Maquillage. One suspects that she is loyal to the make-up artist who did up the Clinton gals for poor little Chelsea’s wedding. Granted, blondes don’t look good in strong light so maybe its not that guy’s fault. (#adviceforhillary – Stick to dimly back alleys and the freindly lighting of the MSNBC studios.)
sigh Unless Hillary steps it up and provide some excitement for us, it looks like we are going to have to work really hard to make our own fun for the duration of this campaign. She could have at least arranged for some faux sniper fire to dodge while running offstage. It worked when she staged that fake show-throwing incident – why couldn’t they spice up this event in a similar manner? Do I have to do all the thinking around here?
Note that NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio, that killer of Charlottes, was no where to be seen. Meemaw ain’t takin any chances.