Whom Will Die Of Old Age

downloadNo Idea. This is the title of a blank draft I found on my WordPress dashboard. Other great ideas that never made it to publication include:

  • The Unexpected Benefits of Sloth This was about being too lazy to change the TV channel and lucking out by finding Hall & Oats guest starring as the entertainment for a fake wedding on Will & Grace
  • Whither the Split Leaf Philodendron? All the 50s and 60s TV shows had them, from Alfred Hitchcock to Dick Van Dyke. Even Andy Griffith had one. .They fell out of fashion – does anybody have these anymore?
  • As If Any More Evidence Was Needed No content. Probably about how disgusting Obama is. Any Obamas. All Obamas. Pick one.
  • Turnip and Turnip Head Definitely about an Obama. The one who’s trying to ensare America’s youth and convince them to give up burgers and fries for … turnips?
  • Eyes Wide Open This is bitching about another department at work trying to take over one of my very successful projects. I don’t remember what I was going to write here but fyi – I smited them and retained publicly acknowledged ownership of my shit. BOOM
  • Iron My Bullhorn! No content but I have it saved under the category of Cankles! I hope I can get interested in writing about Hillary again – I’ve got some killer pictures saved up and also a sub story line featuring Chelsea’s daughter and Huma’s son as baby politicians who seek advice from their politically experienced relatives. Spoiler alert: burqas!
  • Heat wave This one is the outline for a boring/pathetic thing I started in July. Here is what I have  written down. Sounds more like a to-do list than a blog post: This is how we do it. Hem stitch the most stupid cafe curtains. Hand water cherry tomato plants. Ache for BI costal husband. Resent yuppies who planned ahead. Gently abraded paint streaks form Romanian furniture. Plan to do sun salutation tomorrow. And tomorrow and tomorrow.Veg. Weep. Pull weeds.
  • Effective Immediately No content.
  • … And Sincere Best Wishes That No One Turns Your Transponder Off This was the only real disappointment when I discovered there was no content here.
  • The Lamps of Latin Lovers I could have sworn I posted this one. It’s a bout stand-out table lamps in old movies.Looks only partially complete. Maybe I’ll publish it anyway.
  • The Brother-In-Laws of Joan Baez I’m going to work on this someday. I have folders full of newspaper articles, posters and photographs just waiting to be shared with you. The problem is that I start reviewing them and then I get lost in reverie.
  • Uh Oh No content.
  • My Opinion No content but probably about a boob belt.

Feel free to develop any one of these. Put your ideas down in the comments, limited to 140 characters or less.

 

 

 

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One thought on “Whom Will Die Of Old Age

  1. I hope Hillary runs simply because I can’t wait to read your analysis and commentary. I hope she changes her wardrobe. Caftans and mumu’s are the new pant suits. Hillary speaking in a caftan with flip flops would warm the cankles of my heart.

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