I Went To Denver And All I Got Was This Lousy Headcold

It’s just a little bit harder for me to get around now but when they said Come to Denver for a week, I went. Take it from me – it’s much better to spend all of your time in your home office and then flake out on all weekend plans so that you never have to leave the house than it is to mingle with the actual people and risk compromised health status. So now I have a sore throat,dry cough and fever headache.

And I know just who gave them to me, too. It was a family of Spaniards returning home from vacation in Aspen by way of Denver CO to Newark NJ. First as I was gingerly making my way from terminal door to check-in counter, the gigantic and goony looking father rammed his wheeled suitcase into my cane. He did stop his forward momentum long enough to turn around and expresses regret and then his goony looking 10 year old son, absorbed by his Gameboy or whatever you call them nowadays, crashed into the suitcase that I  was dragging behind me. Fate decided it would be a jolly joke to seat them across the aisle from me and you never saw such commotion in getting settled.

spaniardsYou know when you first board the plane and then the stewardess has to come on the PA to say please take your seats don’t block the aisles let’s get settled quickly? This is who she’s talking to. “My” family of 5 was traveling with another family seated in a different part of the plane and there was much unpacking and trading items and re-stuffing bags and  moving carryons around before anyone of them could be considered settled. This involved lots of bending over in the middle of the aisle by the gigantic father who seemed to be the decider in the movement of goods and bags. As you modern travelers know, there is no such thing as the middle of the aisle any more because there’s really just about 18″ from one aisle seat to the other. So every time he bent over, he stuck his Euro ass right in my face. So in retrospect, I a came away lucky that all he gave me was a cold.

FYI. He was wearing a colorful leather belt with a Rubic’s cube design on it. Secksee.

The final indignity was when  he jammed his half-empty carryon into the bin above my head and pushed my bag way down into the far crack and then left it there for me to deal with when he got off the plane.

On the plus side, United has this new thing where instead of screens that drop down from the ceiling or are embedded into the back of the seat in front,  you can watch tv shows movies for free on your personal devices. (The selection is not bad, I watched Saving Mr Banks, which was much more sad that I thought it would be) On the minus side, they replaced the seats on the Airbuses and while the irritating spinal rod is gone, the cushioning is very thin and slumps your butt forward a bit.  Also, 2 oz of Bombay Sapphire gin increased to $9.00 per.

I knew all along that United wasn’t Continental but I’m thinking of giving them up and transferring my allegiance to another airline. If only I could find one even marginally better. Any suggestions? (not Southwest)

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5 thoughts on “I Went To Denver And All I Got Was This Lousy Headcold

    • They didn’t need to. Those great haunches flexing and bending in close proximity to one’s face give the same effect. Or worse. And…it sounds as if there was screaming a-la those yelling goats you see on all the commercials these days. Travel is broadening they say.

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