… and I did not speak up because I don’t use Mr. Bubble. Anymore.
Again with the stupid mothers and their stereotypical parenting wisdom. Now the mothers are trying to spend their valuable “me time” bathing the children in the family bathtub. How stupid are the mothers who think that one-on-one time winding down from the busy day and gently setting the example for life-long daily hygiene habits is actually “better” for the family as a whole.
Do the stupid mothers not realize that they could make better use of their time money energy and focus by having their own relaxing soak instead of catering to the hygiene needs of children every night? Children who are very likely to complain about bath time, having to use the SpongeBob shampoo because the stupid mother found replacing the empty Disney Princess shampoo was a disproportionate burden. And do children really need daily bathing? Where is the research group investigating the protective benefits of retaining a nice thin layer of body oil for two or three days.
It may be time to brainstorm more creative solutions for bathing the children. Perhaps we can consider the very successful model of mobile dog grooming vans and institute community Wee Ones Washin’ Wagons to roll through the streets. No prior commitment necessary – just run out and stand at the curb with your money in your hand whenever you hear “Splish Splash” playing on the next block. That would be far more convenient than filling your own tub with warm bubbly water better used for your self. The Washin’ Wagons could discount for multiple children hosed down at the same time – very economical and time saving.
There’s also the environmentalist-endorsed green solution of letting them stand out in the rain for a while. Could the schools shower the kids? This might go a long way towards releiving classroom over crowding. Keep them on the move between shower cafeteria and seats and you can enroll more children with less resource expense, except for the soap. Without creative solutions like these, suggesting that the stupid mothers strive good mothering, stable families, and the ideal of the healthy, productive citizen by bathing their children individually in the home will do little more than increase the burden so many women already bear.
Related: To quote Little Miss Righty: #singletear or How A Professional Internet Complainer Takes Her Ball And Goes Home