My Kingdom For A Decent Foundation Garment!


News item: Prince Charles, Camilla celebrate 9 years of marriage That, of course, is not the real news item here as any woman anywhere can immediately tell you. The patriarchy, I tell you again, is not properly equipped to provide insight into news events. Accompanying this article is a link to a slide set showing the happy couple over the years. It only takes two clicks to understand in a very practical way what it really means to have the power, the wealth and resources of the British Empire at your disposal:

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Is that the best old lady bra you have ever seen in your life? YES!

Time passes, gravity does it’s inevitable work and the boobs of rich and poor alike head southward. This is clearly a case of  “it’s not what happens to you in life – it’s how you handle what happens to you” and Camilla has called upon the Royal Corsetier for a boost, so to speak. dndwI have to say, I’ve never been a Camilla  fan but even the slim and elegant Duchess of Windsor couldn’t pull this off. Oh, she was pretty great at getting her couturiers to design garments that pleated or bunched up around the critical area so one could not tell exactly what was where but camouflage isn’t  the same as mechanics and in this area, Camilla wins it hands down.

And its not just a matter of time and technology, either. Gaze upon some Camilla’s contemporaries – prominent American ladies who have ample means and devoted designers but have not been able to match Camilla’s accomplishment. These three are of different boob situations but the common thread is that they are all a mess. First,  we have a woman who is declared and accepted to be a world famous fashion icon. Michelle Obama’s boobs are disproportionately small for her bulk overall but … oh, heck I don’t even know how to put this into words and I bet you can’t either. What in the world is going on there?

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Then they came for the shapewear and there was no one left to speak.

But big or small, high or low, all boobs start to droop sooner or later and America’s unofficial ambassador of style and beauty has chosen the push up method instead of Camilla’s pull up strategy. The choice of an in-your-face external device instead of  a more demure undergarment says exactly who she is and failure to speak out against this declasse move says a lot about American citizenry  under the dominion of our betters. First they came for the cardigans and I did not speak out because I don’t wear cardigans.

Another member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee is our beloved Hillary Rodham Clinton.

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Her boobs are the least of it. Amirite?

Seriously, her boobs are not her biggest style problem but boobs and bras are the topics at hand here so let’s focus there. Hillary is an older lady and surely her small boobs are sagging but we might never know because wearing tops that actually fit is not one of her priorities. She might not even wear a bra for all we know. And I think it goes without saying that location of bust darts be damned. Question: Has Nancy Pelosi ever had breast augmentation? Or are those the cantalupos the good Lord gave her?

… aaand the suns set over the Democrat empire.

Good Lord, woman – get a winch hoist for those things, would you? You only own all of San Francisco and half of Baltimore so make an investment in yourself, would you? I’ve got to think that this is where Camilla’s royal boobs would be without her marvelous brassiere task force. American women in the political spotlight would do well to learn a lesson here.

 

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6 thoughts on “My Kingdom For A Decent Foundation Garment!

  1. I can’t do foam-lined because my boobs are too big already. And are heading south, sad to say, like Pelosi’s. So yes, Brava Camilla and her royal corsetier. I agree with Tami about the seam, though.

    As for that picture of Michelle Obama – WTF? Talk about highlighting the negative. And Hillary, darts are there for a reason, bless your heart. So are hair-stylists and makeup artists. Seriously, with her money, can she not even make an effort?

  2. Michelle’s boobs aren’t just heading for the armpit exits, they are skedaddling at differing heights. “You go high, I’ll go low.” YIKES! And her poor bra looks as if it has abandoned the fight altogether. “Whatever, girls.”

    Nancy has always been a chesty little thing. Here’s Kennedy oogling the girls in those halcyon days when men were supposed to be pigs, and everyone just looked the other way.

  3. Hillary is channeling Dr Evil and, you’re right, probably doesn’t wear a bra at all being a child of the 60s and all. Pelosi is a serial offender. I think I’ve even tweeted about her need for better support because the girls are usually at her waist Why dress so carefully and ignore the underpinnings? As for Her Boob Beltedness, just ugh, as in ugh-ly.

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