So now that I have the big cushy reading chair in my bedroom, I realized that my old little Target lamp set too low on a side table is insufficient lighting to read by. I set out to get a plain ordinary 5 ft tall-ish antique brass floor lamp and instead I got hypnotized by a glittering crystal and shiny brass extravaganza that I found on Craigslist.
I’m not really the type for this sort of flashy thing. I had another contender that I was mulling over, the style of which can best be described as one notch above strictly utilitarian. But I ran the two options by my husband, my son and my two BFFs and they were all greatly in favor of this one. I still wasn’t fully convinced but I did a little googling around and guess what?
The phone number in the ad came up as the contact number on a pageant site. I don’t want to say it right out in case the seller understands googling but the pageant title rhymes with Mrs. Blue Furzy.
And now it all makes sense! This is the floor lamp of a pageant winner! This might have even been one of the prizes, forgotten in the excitement over other prizes like free teeth whitening, crystal encrusted photo albums and a personalized magnetic car sign. Can’t you just see her standing under the spotlights, beams shooting out from her Swarovski crystal crown, her clutching her bouquet of American Beauties in one hand and a glittering crystal and shiny brass extravaganza of a floor lamp in the other?
Now I want it. I want it bad.
So after a few misfires like missed phone connections and weather delays, today was the day that I finally got to go see it. It was in a self-storage place 40 miles from me in the town where the Hindenburg exploded. I lost sleep worrying about actually getting down there because of the fresh snow and the single digit temperatures this morning, but I was highly motivated to sit under a crystal-embellished floor lamp that was possibly associated with a feeder pageant for a national title.
I got up early, fixed my self up complete with full face makeup and minced out on the thin layer of crunching snow left behind by yesterday’s shoveling and blowing activities and safely made it to my car. I made sure I had plenty of gas, that there was sufficient wiper fluid and that there was no junk in the cargo space. I even flattened the second seat and put a container for the lamps shade in the back. Even though the price was listed a “$50 or best reasonable offer”, I knew before I even saw it that there would be no quibbling and I’d be coming home with Mrs. Blue Furzy’s floor lamp.
But the guy stood me up.
In fairness, he did leave me a voice mail canceling our appointment which didn’t appear on my phone until hours later but that didn’t change the fact that I was parked on the wrong side of a locked gate and I wouldn’t even be laying eyes on the lamp, let alone bring it home.
I halfheartedly agreed to try it again Monday night after work but I don’t know. I’m feeling very deflated about it all now. Maybe the universe is trying to stop me from making a style mistake. Maybe I’m not really the pageant lamp type after all.