They Might Take Away My Healthcare Plan But By God I’ve Still Got My Sock Chair

I am a firm believer that everyone should have a simple, firm chair in their bedroom where they can sit to put their socks on. But suitable chairs don’t just appear out of thin air, they appear on the curb on garbage day.

Years ago, I wanted to freshen up the bedroom and settled on one of those bed-in-a-bag deals from Target. It was a Waverly toile pattern in cream and black, ticking stripes and a thin open plaid as accents.  Soon things escalated from bed linens to everything that Target had on the shelves in this pattern:  2 throw pillows, 3 tablecloths to alter into curtains and dresser scarves (they remain in the packages to this day), and two sets of matching sheets. I did manage to rein it in and turn away from the small scatter rug and the wall paper border.

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I don’t have a photo of the pre-duct taped raggedy cane but those little bits were an a actual weapon if you tried to sit on the chair and lean back.

But I could not resist the chair cover. Problem: I didn’t have a chair so I set Sami on the hunt and within a week, he came back with two beat up cane back dining chairs. The caning was a mess and torn away from the frame on two sides, but other than that the chairs were sound and they were right shape to take a slip cover. All it took was a little duct tape here and there and we were good to go.

So I slapped the chair cover on and it was too large by maybe an inch in each direction. I always meant to make a padded inner cover out of an old mattress pad to take up the slack but I never got around to it. See above: “they remain in the packages to this day”.

But a civilized person needs a sock chair, am I right? So all these years, the saggy chair cover stayed saggy and eventually it was covered up by piles of laundry and packages of tube socks and then it didn’t matter anymore.

Fast forward to modern times: I invested so much time and energy in decluttering that I wanted to keep furnishings and accessories in the latest make over to a minimum.  But I missed the sick chair, which when you think about it is what separates us from the apes. So I started looking at fancy costly slip covers then moved to looking at fabric to make my own, plus a few little throw pillows. See above: “they remain in the packages to this day”. But then one day during my daily internet trawling, I found a humble little short chair cover. The fabric was pique and the price was low  so I dithered a few days thinking this might be money thrown away on something crappy. But this cover had 118 reviews on Amazon, all but 7 of which were positive. I took the plunge and here it is:

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the saggy and the fitted

Even though those dissatisfied reviewers were right that the cream color is not cream but really more of a taupe-y mushroom color, I am still extremely pleased with this. I love the streamlined look, the cover is soft and smooth and doesn’t move around when you sit on it and it makes me wish I had more chairs that needed slip covers.

Promises for the future: 1. – I will not let this become a laundry pile holder and 2. – I will resist the temptation to put a little floral throw pillow on it.

Update: Well, that was 600 words about a new slip cover. No wonder I lost all of my readers. I think it’s fairly obvious that I have nothing going on in my life. Nothing except that my husband has shingles and pneumonia and overdosed himself with prescription cough medicine so that he was sleeping 20 hours a day and I am working myself to death and a piece of artwork tried to save me the trouble by attempting to assassinate me in my own bed.

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Luckily, it missed me.

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10 thoughts on “They Might Take Away My Healthcare Plan But By God I’ve Still Got My Sock Chair

  1. I thought I was the best at inadvertently appropriate typos, having spelled retarded “remarded” over at Rachel’s blog and she STILL teases me about it, but “sick” chair instead of sock chair made me laugh out loud. PERFECTION! We have a sock chair in our bedroom as well, having determined I NEEDED one solely on the wisdom of Sister Parish of Parish-Hadley (I read it in a book) who insisted that every proper bedroom MUST have a sock chair, but mine is really a “sick” chair because I only ever sit in it when I feed crappy and need to cuddle up under a blanket.

    I’m still giggling. From now on, I have an honest to goodness sick chair. YOU can stay with the “sick” chair.

  2. What a marvelous transformation!! Hope Mr Sami is feeling better soon… and you… don’t let the day-cor kill you; they’re simply accessories, after all… 😉

  3. If I had shingles AND pneumonia I would attempt to overdose myself as well. Working myself to death is beginning to look like a viable/necessary alternative to retiring.

  4. I like your writings about decor. I hope we will get to see the finished bedroom, when you are all through putting the finishing touches on it.

    I got shingles the day after Thanksgiving 3 years ago. One little itchy spot on the back of my right arm. I went to Urgent Care the next day. Got Anti-viral pills and painkillers. Within 10 days, I was shingle free, only had a few more outbreaks on my back after the initial spot. I know, it’s not the nightmare that so many experience, but it was great. I still have those painkillers. Never took one. Hope Sami has equal success with ridding himself of this disease.

  5. OMG girl – inspect those picture hangers. It could have killed you. Speaking as one recently retired after dithering and suffering (back issues) for years – it’s not worth it to work yourself to death. Think of all the fun you could have with your projects if you didn’t have to waste all that time working. Well, OK, sure, you wouldn’t have the money you have now but…trade-offs.

    Take care of yourself and get well wishes to Sami. I think I’ll check into getting that shingles shot.

  6. I just bought the five slipcovers they had left in that color! Thank you! I now hold you responsible for the efficacy of the decor in our downsized home. If I can keep cat/dog from defacing I’ll have brand new-lookin’ chairs!

    • I am sure you are going to be delighted with this cover. I love mine so much that I made that picture on my blog wallpaper on my phone!

      All the reviewers on Amazon talk about “popping [this thing] into the wash” so let your cat/dog do its worst.

  7. One of the great joys in life (IMHO) is converting, re-purposing, recycling stuff. Enjoy the insufferable smugness that comes with it and revel in your self-defined ingenuity!

    We had a small chipper/shredder that was too anemic to chip anything thicker than a half inch. With some duct tape and some downspout hose it became a leaf blower. And, of course, I am recycling crappy used guitars into magnificent instruments. (Ahem.)

    Let’s not even mentioned the many uses for the empty Illy coffee cans with their handy screw top lids…

    I am surprised the Queen of Immunization did not make her husband go for the shingles vaccine.

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