Dread. UPDATED! Yay!

UPDATED! See below.

UPDATED AGAIN! See below below.

9 am – My latest vintage lamp purchase from eBay is due to be delivered today.  I have PTSD from previous broken lamp experiences. That is in addition to the work-related PTSD I suffer from crushing workloads and unmovable deadlines at month end three times in a row. FYI – Florence Nightingale suffered from PTSD too although hers was less MS Outlook-based and more Crimea-based. Also I have a kind of cumulative PTSD every time I look in the mirror and see that I am not 25 anymore. So triple PTSD. Does Obamacare cover that? Anyway the lamp. I am not joyful about it’s imminent arrival.

…………………………………………..

UPDATE 5pm – The package has arrived. The box is squashed on one end and lumpy on the other.

photo (1)

Okay. * breathe * At least it’s here.

Oh brother. It looks even more traumatized inside the house. Look at the crease on the side of the box.

photo (2)

This is probably not going to be good.

But the box was tight – no movement at all inside of it. I don’t have the heart to open this now.  I swear to God that if this one is broken too I am just going to go to JC Penneys and pick out something trendy marketed for the petite bourgeoisie and not for someone fabulous like me.

I’m going to let it acclimatize to its new environment for a while.  Keep your fingers crossed. I can’t take much more disappointment.

UPDATED AGAIN 6:30pm – I opened the box and saw that the lamp was protected by a thin cardboard layer. The newspaper itself was loosely crumpled but mercifully there was a thin sheet of  mini bubble warp casually applied to most of the lamp body.

lb
Pause.

This is too dramatic, I know. Believe me – I know. I picked it up – no noise. Sliced the bubble wrap off, not daring to hope. And lo and behold:

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A perfect lamp!

I was so excited that I didn’t even bother to sweep away the normal piles of junk that populate the tabletops around here for a less distracting photo. Frankly, I was having second thoughts about buying this lamp because of fear of gaudiness but it’s actually quite elegant in real life. The body is very creamy a mix between eggshell and the palest ecru. I think it will be okay with a plain white shade on it.

And my dear readers, I cannot wait to discuss lampshades with you. I’ve got some PowerPoint templates ready to go and we can “try on” as many lampshades as Al Gore put on the internet. If you think that getting the lamp was an agonizing process, wait til you see how we can obsess over the shade! FYI – You should know that I have no qualms about putting an elegant $99.91 French Shantung Oval Shade on a $20 junk lamp.

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