I Am Not Usually A Crazy Person

Now updated with current events! see below

I have to pick out a new entry door. It’s the worst thing that ever happened to me. I have been entirely occupied with obsessing over the elements of a new entry door and making sure that they are just exactly right. It’s the glass pattern in the door configuration that has to be just so.

I’ve memorized several manufacturers’ catalogs so that I can identify the patterns on sight. Then I drive around observing the front doors of my near and not-so-near neighbors, which frankly I never even noticed before. Then I gag due the extreme bad taste of people that I had been previously fond of or at least neutral about.

This changes everything.



Now updated with current events! This isn’t the Catalano family but shame on the Atlantic Wire for picking a random photo of what could be passed off as a Catalano-ish looking family from the Boston Bomber lockdown in MA to misrepresent that it is. Googness knows the real people involved have their faces plastered all over the internet – how hard could it have been to find pictures of them? But shame on this family pictured here for selecting an ugly door. I’m telling you: America is positively littered with terrible front doors.


ugh. you tell me.

Retrofitted update!: actual entry door of the people involved. Does no one check the privacy rating of the glass they choose? If I was a burglar, I’d be pressed right up against that wide swath of clear  glass in the design.


Update to the update! I picked out a door. I’m sure I will gag from the ugliness when it gets here.

3 thoughts on “I Am Not Usually A Crazy Person”

  1. For your own peace of mind never come to Wyoming. Our idea of a classy door is painted steel, no window, dents from attempts to breech by small boys with shovels.

  2. I Googled some subjects in the aftermath of Sandy Hook, Boston, and various other atrocities that could get me in trouble. Now I’m freaked out. I don’t even dare use the words.

    Standing strong in Wyoming like the coward I am.

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