The Topic: Mothers



Brunch: Champagne and caviar.

Lupper: Grilled Salmon burgers

Dessert: Wierdo hippie ice cream

Later: presents galore

My children are the best, all 3 of them.


The Scene: Mid morning out on the sunny deck. A chill breeze blows.

The Players: A man, a woman, a little dog

Man: How were those cookies I brought you before?

Woman: Good. Plain and tasty. I shared them.

Man: Shared them‽ With who?

Woman: [does not speak but side eyes the dog]

Man: [does not speak but conveys the impression that he is working up a wise crack]

Woman:[defensively]  I’ve got nobody left to mother! I even washed his ass today.

Man: This is when I miss my mother. If she was still here, she would have washed MY ass for ME.

Woman: I still would wash the asses of our kids if they would let me.

Man and Woman: [contemplative silence]

End scene.

6 thoughts on “The Topic: Mothers”

  1. Maternal instinct is a powerful force. It rate up there with the nuclear bond and the urge to pull dingleberries from the ass hair of dogs.

  2. At this point in my life my question is whether my kids will wash my butt or not. To be honest I’m wondering if I’ll be OK with washing my mom’s butt. A scenario that’s getting increasingly likely. I’m no nurse and that’s a real question. When you can’t lift them up by their ankles it’s not as cute.

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