Upon This End Grain Maple Cutting Board I Shall Build My Church

Opinions are like cooking shows – everybody has one.

I was clicking through the early morning infomercials in those TV channels above 100 today and came across this cooking show featuring two overweight Italian-American priests making some kind of traditional dish from the old country.

no aprons!

They’re making that peasant salad where you throw in chunks of stale bread, so mostly they’re just chopping vegetables and casually chatting about the Vatican and the historically important churches in Rome. A little bit about foot kissing as well but I  was busy marveling at that repurposed “believe” sign to catch whose feet were being kissed. It’s on the same network that still plays reruns of Mother Angelica and gives over random half-hours to saying the rosary.

When you think about it, the concept is brilliant.

Maybe that’s how to get Catholics back into the churches – give them all a sharp knife and a task to perform that contributes something good to eat1.

1Probably won’t work. Once I was at a planning meeting for a church festival2 and I was sitting around with a table full of lady planners. Out of the church kitchen came an older woman carrying a huge commercial-sized baking pan full of roasted garlic3 and plunked it down in the middle of the table. “Don’t just sit there,” she said, “grab a knife and peel while you talk.4”  Nobody moved.

2Melkite church; Eastern rite.

3 for the stuffed grape leaves and hummus

4I don’t think so, Grandma.

9 thoughts on “Upon This End Grain Maple Cutting Board I Shall Build My Church”

    1. Oh, I’m sure the Italians are pulling the strings on this early retirement thing.

      During JPII’s time, I used to really enjoy razzing my It-Am neighbors by saying “Is the Pope Polish?” for an obvious yes answer as often as I could.

    1. I love how they tried to make the set as irritating as possible. The orange tile and the brick, the red accessories, the almost-Tuscany landscape outside the kitchen window. I can’t look away.

  1. 1/4th of my family is Italian and i grew up in a multi-nationality community. I never (never-ever) saw an Italian cook make the kinds of stuff that is shown on cooking shows.
    The bread soup, or dipping bread in seasoned olive oil was something they happily left behind in their impoverished villages in Italy.
    The ever present pasta with gravy was the beginning of the meal,not the whole thing.

  2. We had a Lenten meal at our church – vegetable soups or seafood soups, and I made a ratatouille orzo salad. It was good, but we all were hungry an hour later.
    I’m trying to get used to Lent. It’s hard. Mostly a failure, but I’m trying. Watching cooking shows should be on my list of things I give up. The guilt of watching all that food porn doesn’t help. Grrr,

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