I Have To Do It When He’s Sleeping

Picture it: A row of four cabinets where each cabinet has three shelves. I cleaned out one half of one shelf and got two supermarket plastic bags full of crap to throw out.

Things I did not throw out:

  • 3 brand new cheesecloths, still in the package 1
  • 3 boxes of Ghirardelli brownie mix 2
  • one new high-quality coffee scoop, still in package 3
  • one square box of bendable drinking straws 4
  • 3 cans of sardines 5
  • Splenda: one 1 Qt. zip lock bagful, one sandwich bagful and one partial sandwich bagful 6
  1.  I don’t know
  2. They were so classy and deluxe looking that I couldn’t do it. I will eventually though – we haven’t made brownies in years
  3. This annoys me. We still use Sami’s bachelor days coffee scoop which is aluminum with a copper bottom. Once it got stored in a can of decaf and we couldn’t think where ti was for several months and I had to endure lectures and interrogation as to its whereabouts that whole time. It was a happy day for us all when the scoop was unearthed and we make sure it doesn’t go missing again. SO WHY DID HE BUY A NEW SCOOP?
  4. Occasionally I bust out a drink that needs a straw. The clear plastic container is a holdover from the dollar store when the kids were small. The original contents have been replaced by paper-clad straws from McDonald’s and Burger King.
  5. Once I was watching New Scandinavian Cooking on TV to see if they would use any Figgjo Flint dinnerware which they never do and the host was preparing sardines in an abandoned refrigerator which had been converted to a smoker. Then he marinated some raw sardines in vinegar and served them just like that. I must have been hungry because it was written on my face that I would like to try both versions and I said out loud to Sami that I have never eaten a sardine in my life. On his next trip to the supermarket,  he brought me these three cans of King Oscars. Which I have no intention of ever eating but they were a present motivated by love so I can’t throw them out. I repay that love by throwing his crap out while he sleeps. If I do it while he’s awake, he brings it back in.
  6. We are drowning in Splenda packets.

I am not quite hooked on this show, but I do stop to catch if it comes up while I’m clicking around. The host does all food prep outdoors, the food is always fresh and pretty simple and I just like it.



4 thoughts on “I Have To Do It When He’s Sleeping”

  1. How old does Jello have to be before you can throw it out?
    I have an old red metal can of ground cloves in my cupboard that once belonged to my grandmother. No I don’t use it. Is it officially an antique?
    My shelves are crammed full of this kind of crap and I’m not at all motivated to throw it out. I think of my kitchen as a future living history museum.
    Sinks, counters, dishes, floors, appliances are clean. NO mold or bugs. I’m not on the next hoarders episode.

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