Ways In Which I Am Better Off Than Four Years Ago

Maybe those big government brains are right when they say America is better off now then we were four years ago. When I sit down to think about it, I am personally much better off in so many ways. Are you better off? Well are ya, punk?

Here’s my list:

  • Less Physical Strain – don’t have to strain myself carrying all that heavy change home from supermarket.
  • Gratitude – deeply aware of how grateful I am that Stanley Ann was not my mother.
  • Anxiety Reduction – don’t have to worry about reading bad news because someone will come along and tell me it’s really good news
  • Citizen of the World – doing my part for global fairness by transferring more money to the Third World via Pakistani hands at the gas station
  • Simplified Wardrobe Decisions –  anything goes, nothing has to fit, everything looks fabulous and bare legs are the new Silky Sheer
    Lace Trim Thigh Highs
  • Heightened Awareness of Ideological Cants– now able to tell the difference between socialism, marxism and communism.
  • Increase in Self-Reliance – understanding that I must do my own research from multiple sources instead of relaying on news readers to tell me what’s what
  • Aspiration – strong motivation to use my vote to bring about a better America, different from what we have at the moment, for myself and my disillusioned children.

6 thoughts on “Ways In Which I Am Better Off Than Four Years Ago

    • Thank you, Francine, for this opportunity to educate readers about corgis – although I suspect you did not mean to post this here.

      My corgi is named Stedman as in “steed”. There’s lots of speculation and folk lore about the corgi’s origin and they are known as “fairy horses”. One reason this notion came about is that they all have markings on their shoulders that are known as “fairy saddles”, marks where a fairy would rest if one was sitting astride the dog.

      “They were filled with joy and wonder and said it was a fairy present,
      Was a present from the wee folk, for their fathers told a legend
      How the fairies kept some dwarf-dogs
      Called them Corgis – Fairy heelers:
      Made them work the fairy cattle, Made them pull the fairy coaches,
      Made them steeds for fairy riders,
      Made them fairy children’s playmates”

      I wonder where Oprah’s boyfriend got his name?

  1. I have found “friends and like-minded associaties” that I will never meet in person, but share a daily chat and pick-me-up with. They all enrich my life.

    I have learned that the MSM is full of fools who choose what is news and what is detrimental to BarackObama and report accordingly.

    I have reclaimed my ability to stretch my grocery dollar as I did in 1976.

    I have learned that at the winter of my life, I no longer wear what’s in fashion but what is comfortable, what idiots think, and if my ‘credit score’ is high or low.

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