Maybe those big government brains are right when they say America is better off now then we were four years ago. When I sit down to think about it, I am personally much better off in so many ways. Are you better off? Well are ya, punk?
Here’s my list:
- Less Physical Strain – don’t have to strain myself carrying all that heavy change home from supermarket.
- Gratitude – deeply aware of how grateful I am that Stanley Ann was not my mother.
- Anxiety Reduction – don’t have to worry about reading bad news because someone will come along and tell me it’s really good news
- Citizen of the World – doing my part for global fairness by transferring more money to the Third World via Pakistani hands at the gas station
- Simplified Wardrobe Decisions – anything goes, nothing has to fit, everything looks fabulous and bare legs are the new Silky Sheer
Lace Trim Thigh Highs
- Heightened Awareness of Ideological Cants– now able to tell the difference between socialism, marxism and communism.
- Increase in Self-Reliance – understanding that I must do my own research from multiple sources instead of relaying on news readers to tell me what’s what
- Aspiration – strong motivation to use my vote to bring about a better America, different from what we have at the moment, for myself and my disillusioned children.