The Metric of Success

Things I learned from reading this fawning loveletter to Chelsea Clinton:

  • Her favorite word seems to be “fundamentally”
  • If she used that Photoshop product for her match.com profile, her match would be fundamentally disappointed when he saw her in real life.
  • “She definitely has her own [public speaking] style,” which is later revealed to be “standing stock-still, speaking very slowly, her big blue eyes moving back and forth almost metronomically”.
  • if you are in the same building with her, chances are pretty good that you can  see her sitting on the toilet
  • Bill Clinton grew up with a dirt floor in Arkansas

Ok right there is where I stopped reading. Bill Clinton’s “sometimes single” mother was a nurse anesthetist, the beneficiary of a war veteran’s  death benefits, a player in local Arkansas politics, and surely at least some of her five husbands must have contributed something somewhere along the line.

Dirt floor!

Name this mystery model. Hmmm, not sure but I think I see something of a Little Eye there – is it a female from the White House?

h/t @cindycoops

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7 thoughts on “The Metric of Success

  1. I read the fawning lover letter. I don’t know whether to puke or bang my head against the wall.

    “…Unlike most nerdy academic types, however, Clinton is also a social creature, happy to put on a party dress and go out for a good cause…”

    “…When Clinton arrives, wearing a purple J.Crew cardigan over a floral-print Erdem dress, she plunges right into the power circle—a minefield of kisses and “relevant” small talk….”

    “…When the night comes to an end, everyone piles out into the street and says their goodbyes. A driver is waiting to take Chelsea Clinton back to the library—home to her parents in Little Rock….”

    …where they lock her in a closet until they need her to make another appearance.

  2. Chelsea dresses interestingly, I like that.

    I think that the interviewer secretly wants her to get kidnapped. Why else specifically mention that she always runs alone?

  3. From the little I could stand to read as I skimmed through the article, it seems we have nothing to fear from her.
    She looks pretty good. I’d like to have the people responsible for that photo come and take one for me to use on my ID badge.

  4. Momma Clinton (or whatever name she was using last) was a big player of the ponies in Hot Springs. I don’t think she had trouble finding money or male companionship. NTTATWWT Dirt floors, no way.

    I have to admit I didn’t read the article. Was afraid of the consequences.

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