Punished With A Barry

Posited: Barack Obama is  Tonya Harding at the 94 Olympics.

Tonya Harding at the Olympics with a bad skate lace.

Her performance up to the definitive moment shown in the video was filled with mistakes.  When it really counted, she set out intending to show what a brilliant performer she was but gave up as soon as she saw things weren’t going her way. Then she cried like a baby and begged the judges for a do-over. She also resorted to thuggery and attack with intention to do grievous harm to her main opponent to get that candidate out of the way. This is what we now have come to understand as presidential behavior during the time of Obama.

The only difference is that Tonya worked hard for a long time to move herself from humble (nay, disadvantaged) origins into the world spotlight. Obama was raised by a woman who was a bank office*!!!, went to upper eschelon private schools and then was selected, groomed, petted and posed for his.

UPDATE: Huh. Look at this. I didn’t even know that Obama himself brought up the Obama/Harding analogy.

I think I owe Tonya Harding an apology for this comparison. She worked very hard, overcame less than optimal situations around her and did accomplish her dream of standing in the world’s spotlight based solely on her skill. Things went wrong during and after her time there due to people and circumstance around her. We can’t criticize her for that.

Yesterday, HeyLookAtMe Obama made sure that the media reported that he bought beer (and capped his offer  at 10 people) and then went to a gym to work out. OBVIOUSLY intended to draw parallel with Paul Ryan’s beer references during his homecoming speech in Wisconsin and his much touted physical fitness and P90X workouts.Let’s see if we can predict what Obama will do today based on what Ryan did yesterday:

  • Ryan spoke without a teleprompter

I think we’re all down with Obama’s off-topic stutterings

  • Ryan was admired by Erskine Bowles

Unlikely but Bowles could be forced to make one of those Cory Booker-style  hostage tapes

  • Ryan was interviewed solo on Fox News

hahahahahaha

  • Ryan has a fan site dedicated to him called “Hey Girl, It’s Paul Ryan”

Hey Dude, It’s Barack Obama

…………………………………………………

*!!!  OMG! I just realized that it’s his GRANDMOTHER NOT HIS MOTHER that is his source of his deep-seated animosity towards the American people! It all makes perfect sense now. His behavior is rooted in his experiences with and feelings for his grandmother:

  • typical white woman who fears black men
  • “inferior” female more powerful than vain but inadequate male
  • a wealthy American have to his third-world have not
  • controlling the household purse strings and denying him choom money when he really really wanted it (bank official who refuses loans to the needy)
  • a senior citizen using up healthcare resources despite the nearness of inevitable death

Man, we’re just lucky that she didn’t fight with him over tattoos otherwise we’d be getting lectures about that too.

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12 thoughts on “Punished With A Barry

  1. That’s how he’s gotten where he is — he kneecapped all his opponents but I think Romney and Ryan have pure enough backgrounds so that won’t work this time. Zero is going to be so pissed when he loses — I can’t wait to see the tantrum.

  2. I also think Romney did a lot of observing over the last 4 years and took copious notes. This is becoming quite an entertaining campaign.

    Favorite Reince Prebius comment, heard yesterday: “My view is, if they punch us, we punch back, with brass knuckles.”

    Also, from People today I learned that Ryan listens to lectures on Voltaire on his iPhone. I am not making this up.

  3. Poor Tanya, she was doomed from the start only she didn’t know it. If I recall correctly the other skater wore a costume studded with real diamonds at the Olympics. Diamonds, imagine that.

    I can see foot-stomping, dish-throwing tantrums at the obama headquarters when no one can find some dirt on Romney or Ryan.
    They might be able to find a fallen woman that dated MrRyan when he was a single man, maybe he stood her up or something. Oh..had sexual relations with a woman but didn’t offer marriage..the rascal!

    I’m stocking up on tea and crumpets because I don’t want to miss the debates and all the fun.

    • You’re making the mistaken assumption that they care if the mud they sling has any truth in it at all. Joe Biden clearly knows about the secret GOP plan to reinstate slavery. Paul Ryan’s obviously a vampire. Romney eats live kittens at every meal. Only The One can save us from all that!

  4. I just realized that this title doesn’t make any sense now. Originally, I called it something else and I forgot what it was. I don’t know why I changed it. I must have been headed for a point.

  5. Honestly, I was always kind of a Harding fan, because Nancy Kerrigan seemed so silly and plastic and prepackaged. Then that moron slugged her leg with a pipe and I lost pretty much all sympathy for Tonya.

    This is not to say that I gained sympathy for Kerrigan, BTW. My cold, shriveled heart felt badly that she had been injured and assaulted; it did not thaw any more than that because she wailed and cried “whhhyyyyyy MEEEEEEEEEE it HURRRRRRTS.” Maybe I am something of a monster, but even that scene, with genuined pain and injury, sounded like it was played up. That’s so completely unfair, but that was the impression I got.

  6. All the psychoanalysis of Obama is entertaining, but in the end he is a creature of circumstance whose only significant character traits were his public speaking and his ability to go along. My meta-theory:

    In 2008 the Dems had a golden opportunity: unpopular war (replaced later by economic downturn), a sitting President at the end of his term limits, mediocre GOP candidates. The White House was there for the taking, the Powers That Be on the Left just needed someone to play the part.

    The presumed candidate – Hillary – was ready, but the Sorosians were worried that she wasn’t docile enough, plus there was the “Bill Factor”. The Clintons had a history of putting themselves first.

    Plan B was Obama: a good speaker, half-black but too nerdy to be threatening, a blank slate with no real record to defend, a personal background too cloudy to investigate in time. Perfect.

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