Although I find the Olympics themselves boring and pointless, I do like the hubbub going on around World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama’s™ publicity grab with the Let’s Move event scheduled for Friday. Even more fascinating to me are the other Let’s Move events that Michelle is doing with high-profile Londoners, whether they like it or not.
Entering the city of London, World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ displays that well-known fashion forward sense of style we keep hearing about with her striking wardrobe choice complete with flattering headgear. Instead of carrying a torch she carries a banner that neatly proclaims her personal food philosophy.
On to the events:
Let’s Move The Big Fat Gypsies
Acknowledging the popularity of the TV show My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, the FLOTUS recognizes what a great opportunity this is to fight obesity by putting the gypsies on the move. She organizes events like the Three-legged Garter Race where newlywed gypsy couples compete to see who can reach the finish line first while bound together and displaying the wedding garter. At another popular event of endurance – Touch My Bride – the ladies compete to see who will be the last bridesmaid to keep their hoopskirt in contact with the bride.
Never one to just sit on the sidelines and tell others what to do, our FLOTUS gets into the action as well. In what is sure to be one of the most popular features of the Gypsy Games, she takes off the feedbag and slaps on the harness to give it her all in the Formal Dress Carriage Pull.
Let’s Move Whatever Royal Parts Can Still Move
Arriving at Buckingham Palace, FLOTUS has prepared some sedate and dignified events for beloved 86 year old Queen Elizabeth. But first, a quick display of endurance as she challenges Camilla to the Wide Stance Contest with an intimidating hint of her power move, “the 40 Inch Spread”.
The highlight of any encounter with America’s first lady is her fearsome display of Little Eye. The petite monarch pulls out an upset and turns the world of Little Eye upside down. She takes the title away from the disappointed but good sport from America.
Unwilling to take a chance on losing again, Mrs. Obama then proceeds to what some might consider a mismatch of competitors as the Royal games continue with The No Contest Contest as Michelle introduces the Queen to a hand-squeezing game based on the all-American favorite “Pull My Finger”. Later on, the petite sovereign rebuffs the offer of a rematch and comes to the grimly malodorous realization that you can’t unring a bell and now that the the champ has started, it takes more than a tight dress and a double layer of Spanx to stop it.
Let’s Move Your Groove Thing
One last stop before the shopping starts! (Note – have V.J. call that nice Mr. Mohammed Al-Fayed with the Harrod’s and see if he can introduce me to the owner of Fortnum & Mason. It’s hamper time!) Just enough time for a quick one with Patsy and Edina. Lucky thing Michelle brought along her absolutely fabulous 48 0z. champagne stein.
This was meant to be a social visit but once FLOTUS found out that the AbFab ladies had their own Olympic events going on, her competitive spirit and 48 0z. of good bubbly could not let it pass. She threw down the gauntlet followed immediately by her dainties and challenged them to a game of her own invention called Dance Off With Your Pants Off. Remembering that they had to wash their hair, the invitation was politely declined.
And so concludes coverage of the Let’s Move events the mass media won’t tell you about.
all graphics courtesy of The Proprietor