A Banana And A Monkey

I know this is not an original thought but I really have to get it off my chest: I hate internet recipe changers. I mean I’m all for changing recipes but I do believe you should try it as written at least one time*. And these people don’t make small changes, either. They shoot for the moon the first time.

The reason I bring this up now is that I’m making banana bread today. Here’s what’s in it:

  •  bananas
  •  butter
  • sugar
  • egg
  • vanilla
  • baking soda
  • salt
  • flour
That’s it. Pure and natural. You only need a spoon and a bowl to prepare it and it comes out perfect and delicious every time. And all 166 commenters on the recipe agree. They love the simplicity of it and then they love to customize it.  After working though all the comments in favor of adding chocolate chips, walnuts, coconut, raisins, lime juice, orange zest, cashews, Kahlua, cranberry juice, M&Ms, rum, peanut butter, blueberries, coffee, crushed plums, yogurt, flax seeds, zucchini, canned pumpkin, apples, whole wheat flour, confectioner’s sugar, mango, honey, OR oats we come to this overacheiver who went whole hog all at once:

“My sister and I subsituted the white sugar for brown, added only one banana, a cup of applesauce and some stewed baby pears. We added ginger, cinnammon and nutmeg.”

Does that qualify as banana bread? I admit that I’m hot and cranky and turning on the oven right now wasn’t an especially brilliant idea, but seriously -I hate that. I’m trying to brighten my mood. Maybe I’ll do the Sunday Morning Poetry Throw Down now.

Ethelbug! Ethelbug!
Fly away home.
Your house produced vermin.
Your kids are all bums.

Including wee Kerry.
Just look what she’s done:
She jacked up on downers,
smashed a truck. Hit and run.

 *I rarely follow my own advice but I certainly want the itnernet to do so.

8 thoughts on “A Banana And A Monkey”

  1. “Your house produced verim.”

    Please. There’s not a whole lot of applicability of the Latin root “ver” (truth) anywhere in the last few generations of Kennedys, so I’ll attribute that to a typo.

    In similar fashion, I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to convince my DSW that we should cook chili in July. She’s not having it. Yet we’re baking a casserole. If we’re married a hundred years, maybe then I’ll understand.

  2. Currently all major cooking has been transferred to the outdoor grill. I doubt I could manage banana bread on it, but I could do chili (the grill has an extra burner that will take a skillet).

    The minute I read the Kerry Kennedy story I thought of you – but in a good way. Sooner or later there will be a study that shows being one of 11 kids when Dad is a philandering hypocrite and Mom wears orange go-go boots will warp you for life. Likewise, modern science will eventually locate and identify the a**hole gene: a dominant gene, at least in the Kennedy family.

  3. OK, here goes the Sunday Poetry Slam…

    Oh, Kerry K, dear Kerry K
    You bear the fam’ly curse
    You get in sticky places
    And then make matters worse.

    You were born into a snakepit
    A role that’s mostly frills.
    Handmaiden mixed with red queen
    So, alcohol and pills.

    A Kennedy needs constant care
    A Skakel needs a keeper
    Because you or people that you know
    Keep meeting the Grim Reaper.

    Cuomo keeps on keeping on
    While you made the Big Blunder
    Carrying on with Bruce Colley
    The marriage splits asunder.

    A polo star has no cache
    When his money comes from fries
    Shakes and burgers pay his bills
    Would you like that supersize?

    So welcome to the sidelines
    You’ve made the second string
    And down the road young Andrew goes
    One more who would be king.

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