Happening Right Now

There is a man across the creek pushing a plastic pipe off of the pile.

Now he has a chains saw and he’s hacking off a 5 foot length.

Now he’s putting the 5 foot length of pipe into the back of his pick up truck.

Now he’s driving away.

Now he’s gone.

Stand by throughout the day for the latest breaking news as it happens. This is Suzette. Morning News. Back to you Internet.


I drove around to the other street the other day to see just how bad things are vis-à -vis my privacy level. Answer: pretty bad. Here’s my very visible gazebo as seen over a pile of plastic pipes and a tangle of fencing and roots. Now you’re a lookyloo.

This used to be a small expanse of well-maintained grass in front of a nice assortment of shade trees and flowering shrubs. Now it’s free seats in the first mezzanine for The Suzette Show. I wonder when they put in that sidewalk? Must have been stimulus money.


8 thoughts on “Happening Right Now

  1. In the words of my father, “Whatever it takes to keep ’em off the street corners and out of the pool halls is fine by me.”

  2. You have a good sized wall space on the side of your house there. Perhaps you could post a menacing billboard/sign that says something like: “Looky-Loo’s Will Be Shot!”
    And have a picture of a rifle on there.

    Or maybe it could read: “Toxic Waste Zone. Keep Back.”

    Or: “Toxic Fumes in Creek. May Cause Blindness.”

    Or: “You Are Being Watched”
    With a picture of a giant eyeball.

  3. A very high fence would help, but would probably be a big expense. It’s like buy property with an ocean view and someone building a 3 story house across the road. Not right.

  4. That really, really sucks.
    We live on a multi-acre property in the woods. With a ‘Bike Trail’ next to our deck.
    Thanks, commies.

    My advice to you? MIRACLE GRO and lots of it!
    Being a gardener, as soon as the worker drones were finished decimating the woods that we thought would act as a privacy perimeter, I got to work planting a hedge of wild roses, evergreens, and yellow crookstem bamboo. It’s filled in quite a bit-the gawkers have to find a hole in the greenery now if they want to point and stare.
    Sometimes they yell, “hey!” to get my attention. Bizarre.
    I’ve considered renting pilgrim costumes and waving, just to screw with them. Or maybe a Sasquatch outfit.

    And how about “No Cell Phones” sign nailed to a tree?

    Not to be mean or anything, but available online is a thing called Blast-A-Way deer. It’s a motion activated water sprayer you can hook up to your garden hose. Hehe.

    Good luck, drink and fertilize heavily.

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