Things in my mailbox that have elicited strong emotions from me today:
1. A virtual introduction (with names changed to protect me)
Please allow me to virtually introduce you to [expert], she is one of the faculty members in the School of Blahblah and is the expert in creativity and innovation who is working with us on blah blah blah. [Expert] will be joining us on the call next week, but also wanted to introduce you virtually ahead of time.
[Expert], Suzette has very kindly agreed to also serve as an expert coder. She is the Director of blah blah blah on our common project. Looking forward to getting us all together on the line next week!
Gawd if I were only a few years more young and a few knees more able I would be all over the sender of this letter to prove that I am an expert in creativity and innovation. I haven’t felt professional longing like this in quite a while. I’m sure that even know I could parlay my association with this group into something involving creativity and innovation. On the other hand, they believe me to be an “expert coder” whatever that is. I prefer that to my current home-based position of cheerful caretaker and maker of 3 hots and 2 snacks every day.
2. Office Space Rental
Ms. [name I never heard before]:
You expressed interested in renting (office space) Room XXX and I said I would provide you some details concerning that space. Per our conversation, this is to further clarify that office rental space includes only the space being rented and occupied by the tenant and does not include or entitle you to access to other meeting or common areas within the XX Theatre premises.
The room is Approximately 166 sq. ft. and could be rented at $194.00 per month. Additionally, we discussed a refundable damage deposit.You stated that you would like to sign a six month lease and could pay the entire amount at an agreed upon leasing agreement.
If I have omitted any details or please feel free to let me. Look forward to hearing form you soon. Success is Never Certain and Failure is Never Final! Have a Great Day!
[person] Office Manager
I am amused at the lack of care the office manager has taken with this email. Not only did she send it to me a perfect stranger with no businesslike disclaimer for misdirected communication but that last paragraph is a cut-and-paste mess. Also note that office space in Indianapolis goes for $1.17 per square foot.