Opening Day

Opening Day of the 2012 summer season was sunny warm and brutally humid. I hope this is not NJ’s fate for the entire summer -either rain or stultifying humidity. It makes the beautiful weather we had for the wedding all that much more special.

Did I mention that I had 9 days off from work around the wedding? What a price to pay when I got back to it though. I didn’t leave the house/home office from Monday until Friday. It was just a short trip to two local gardening centers but it was eventful.

First, some old coot rolled his rusty K car right in front of me in a steady stream of traffic. I was mesmerized by his bald monk spot surrounded by a halo of long frizzy hair until I saw his bumper sticker.

After I got over the near t-boning he intended for me, I found his whole presence quite charming.

Then AN IDIOT parked his big shiny truck at the garden center and left the windows open for his pit bull to get fresh air. The dog clambered out of the window, splat onto the gravel and then romped through the nursery dragging her leash behind her. You could see that the dog was playful as she led THE IDIOT on a happy chase through the fallow pumpkin patch – but what if she wasn’t? She was young and completely uninterested in “stay” or “come”. So THE IDIOT inflicts a powerful dog that he can’t control onto the general public. What is it with people bringing their dogs to the garden centers? I think it is so people will admire them because of their dog selection while the rest of us walk around with only our common sense to recommend us. After the pit bull was captured, THE IDIOT carried on with his plant selection and blocked the pathways while mature ladies walking with canes had to juggle their petunias to get past him.

Here is THE IDIOT putting his captured dog into the back seat this time where the window is only 2/3 open. Maybe that will keep the dog inside.

Gawd, it was hot out there on Saturday. There’s only so many hours in a day and so we had no choice but to work out under the blazing sun, a practice which I have successfully avoided until yesterday. It took me 2 hours to put together 8 flower pots. I don’t know. Between the heat and the garden center dogs and the general out-of-shapness around here, maybe I should just give it up.

R.I.P. you awe-inducing bastard.

Post script – In other vaguely-related-to-an-actual-garden news: I forgot to mention that the Deer Painter died. I feel nothing.

The Deer Painter is gone and the Painted Deer got smashed by a fallen tree. We’ll never see the likes of it again.



4 thoughts on “Opening Day

  1. Pick-’em-up truck owners are bestowed with a kind of glow that only they can see. They think the glow gives them special abilities and privileges, but since the rest of us are oblivious to the glow the whole thing spirals our of control.

    This guy must be a pick-’em-up truck noob since he’s driving a GMC (Ford, Chevy, and maybe just maybe a Dodge otherwise tacky, tacky, tacky!!!!) and putting the dog INSIDE the cab. A veteran pick-’em-up truck lout always knows the dog goes in the back.

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