Those Krazy Kennedys!

“MOUNT KISCO — Robert F. Kennedy’s son, Douglas, is facing charges related to an incident in which he clashed with two nurses who tried to stop him taking his newborn son for a walk outside a hospital maternity ward. Kennedy, 44, was charged with misdemeanor harassment and endangering the welfare of a child over the Jan. 7 argument, during which he allegedly grabbed one nurse by the wrist and kicked another in the pelvis” … NY Post

Do the Kennedy men ever run out of fascinating descriptions? I guess we can add Pelvis Kicker to Intern Deflowerer, Secretary Drowner and Dumbell Pilot.

I have some questions about this:

  • Who takes an infant out of a hospital bassinet so he can go outside for fresh air? FYI – infants’ immune systems are not fully functional at age 3 days and fresh air positively drips with pathogens. Have a little influenza with your “vigah”, why doncha?
  • Who doesn’t know that hospitals have been employing strict measures to limit risk of kidnapping of newborns? This isn’t anything new – it’s been standard practice for decades. And it applies to fathers as well as unrelated baby stealers.
  • Although this particular heir to Camelot was arrested for his little stunt, the real crime here in my opinion is that he named this kid Boru. Irish royalty notwithstanding, the boy is in for a lifetime of Sacha Baron Cohen jokes.
  • Not a question but a point of interest:  “violent shaking of the baby’s head and neck.” My my, Douglas. Also, video from the hospital  surveillance cameras at this link.
Both sides have already lawyered up. I’m not sure that the poor nurses stand a chance. Check out this report and then wait for the Kennedy mouthpiece at the end:

“While holding the child in his right arm, Kennedy kicked Luciano in the pelvis with his right foot, knocking her backward onto the floor, police said. As he did this, Kennedy fell onto the floor with the baby in his arms. Kennedy then got up and ran “down the stairs with the infant until he was stopped by security and escorted back to the infant’s room,” the police report said. The police report did not say whether the infant was harmed but Kennedy’s lawyer told NBC New York the baby was not injured and slept during the altercation.” …

At the moment, there’s been no comment from the toothy beam of vigor that is the child’s grandmother.

douglas kennedy

This is not the first time that Douglas Kennedy has appeared on the pages of Cripes Suzette. From the archives : Go-Go Mama Ethel keeps her eye on hyperactive Douglas in a world yet to discover the “hyperactive” label for bad boys.

18 thoughts on “Those Krazy Kennedys!

  1. I’m sure those violent, vicious, attack dog nurses are going down for this outrageous assault on a well known member of the know-nothing elite. How dare they stick to established hospital practices when a Kennedy is obviously always right. (this is when I wish there were a special font to indicate sarcasm) They’ve got a paid off turncoat doctor on their side so its clear those nurses are going to rue the day they were born.

    It’s kind of comforting in a way to know that every six months or so the Kennedy’s will provide us with another example of the gross hypocrisy of the left elite. No feminism allowed in THEIR compound you betcha.

    • Oh, that is definitely one of those Kennedy Pocket Doctors. The tipoff is that the doctor was agreeable to taking a social spin with the little patient. No doctor ever wants to spend time off the clock with a patient.

      • Sounds like he was drunk to me. Why would he kick the nurse to the floor and then take off running. Especially after he had fallen with the baby and didn’t know if he was all-right or not? But what do I know; I’m not a Kennedy.

  2. It’s the little connections that I love. Douglas HARRIMAN Kennedy must have been named for Averell Harriman, one of those populist Dems who actually had Kerry-esque wealth and connections.

    Harriman was the son of a wealthy railroad robber baron (you know, the kind that don’t pay their share of taxes) who dabbled in horse racing until he borrowed some dough from his dad and started a bank that was a principle conduit for Nazis doing business in the US until December 1941, at which point its assets were seized.

    Showing a pliable politic, he also hobnobbed with Stalin, sandbagged Churchill on behalf of FDR at the Tehran Conference and was complicit in the plan that assassinated South Vietnam president Ngo Dinh Diem in 1963. The Kennedys used him as their general purpose mouthpiece in diplomacy (“Ambassador-at-Large”).

    Naming your son after him would be the equivalent of naming him after Kissinger. Thus burdened by name and by history, I doubt we’ve heard the last of Doug.

  3. Take Dougie, his surely stupid wife his probably now brain damaged (from Dougie shaking him) kid wrap them all in 100′ feet of the USS JFK’s anchor chain and drop them into the ocean to visit cousin John John. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

  4. Now, you people are missing the big issue here. What if we could make-over Ethel in that photo with modern hair and make-up….and good lighting. She would have been *hot* in those go-go boots! I am totally digging that outfit, yo!

    • The go-go boots! Missed that, hahaha. They match the main color of the dress perfectly, and the pink parts of the dress match her thighs perfectly. I did notice there was a nice, sharp pencil within the ADHD child’s reach, though.

    • You are correct, DDP! Jackie and Joan were classicists but Ethel was mod. Despite her almost constant state of pregnancy, in between deliveries she managed to be trim and fit – perfect for the young woman’s fashion trends of the times. While Jackie and Joan frequented couture houses in Paris, Ethel was all about Carnaby Street.

  5. Pingback: The Law of Diminishing Kennedys « Cripes Suzette

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