Something I Can Get Behind

Watched the Real Housewives of Orange County season opener last night.

Found out it’s Derriere Month.

I’m ready.

………………………….

Speaking of behinds, I also watched the season opener of Jersey Couture last night. (It was a big evening for me.)

First of all, can not an actual couturière send a C&D to these people for misusing the term couture? Other observations:

  • A lot more money is being spent on this season compared to last. Last time, it was people in the store trying on dresses. Now it’s full-blown scenarios, with out of store filming about the clients background plus some analysis of the specific shopping situations by the Sales Daughters. Also, special guest appearances by soap opera stars and their fashion advisors.
  • The ladies have their make-up applied by a professional before their segments are filmed. A professional who specializes in statement eyebrows, apparently.
  • The son in the family seems to have gotten some pretty intense Rogaine therapy between seasons. Nice look, Anthony. You don’t really need the earring.
  • The youngest daughter Chrissy has a new hairdo and new hair color but remains faithful to that Endora-style eyeliner which I found so bewitching* last season. She’s as crude and loud as her mother and sister, but it seems that she does it in self defense rather than in offense mode like they do.
Next week, they introduced the daughters’ new assistant. I saved a copy of the employment ad that they put on Craig’s List when they were looking to hire. I should dig it up for you to contemplate if you have seen even 5 minutes of these  women in action.

*I’m killing myself over here.

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6 thoughts on “Something I Can Get Behind

  1. I showed this post to H. He said I’d been ready for years.
    I’m now taking applications for his replacement, since he’s decided it would be better for his health if he moves on. To Hell. Or Idaho.
    He can’t decide.
    And I can’t find the damn shovel.

    • As a Wyomingite I’d recommend Hell as a preferable place to Idaho. They might actually BE the same place, but you’d think it would be a little warmer here if that were the case. Where ever he ends up the shovel will be a necessary item.

  2. I didn’t know what Jersey Couture was, so I had to google… more wine required STAT! I do hope you won’t be taking your mother of the groom makeup tips from Claire’s weekly tutorial. How can any one face support that much makeup at one time?

  3. I officiated at a wedding late last year where the bride wore so much makeup she looked like she was covered in adobe or some other ceramic material that involves a kiln. The eyebrows were painted on. (She was also 6’4″.)

    This is the wedding where the reception was so wild that they lost their paperwork and last week we had to fill out all new certificates.

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