Not That I’m Worried Or Anything

Dear TSA,

Just for once, can you err on the side of “caution” instead of the side of “too fail to get a regular job but now I have power and I wouldn’t want anyone to think I wasn’t PC”? Thanks.

Best regards, Suzette

Freedom Pats!

Flying today out of Newark. Maybe the pissed-off  terrorists will get fed up with weather delays and drive to their retaliation sites and leave the regional jets to  the business travelers?  That thought is my only comfort. Because I certainly don’t depend on the TSA to keep me safe, only to slow me down and to steal my hand tooled leather cosmetic case right out of my checked baggage.

And the woman in charge of our national security (what is her name? I can never remember. You know, the one who looks like she should be cooking ravioli on  her own PBS show)  changed the terror alert system so even if the threat level is raised, no one will know what it means. No more color coding, only changes relative to current alert status. Something like:

    • Imminent threat of osso bucco
    • Increased possibility for Sunday gravy
    • Elevated chance of cannoli for dessert
    • “See Something – Eat Something”

Did you know that they load coffins filled with dead people into the cargo compartments of commercial flights?

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