Never Mind The Carpet And The Drapes – Does The Nose Stripe Match The Boob Crack?

Posted on by Cripes Suzette

I am totally in love with World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom ™ Michelle Obama’s new stylist. Out is the icky influence of the bizarre In Your Face fashion influence of  Ikram with her boob belts and upholstery fabrics and In is the younger, more tasteful Meredith Koop who also seems to have more common sense. Koop’s influence has been subtle but cumulative and now we see the full fruit of that influence. No more greasy-legged butt bubbles and flaunting of obvious body defects – now the focus is on the boobs as a distraction device. First, the oldest trick in the book to draw the eye: jewelry as focal point. Hello, Wilma Flintstone. Second, cleavage:

Not only does she -mercifully and at at long last -wear an outfit that disguises instead of empathizes her odd waistline location and hip girth but she’s got that cross your heart thing going on to lift and separate. (Could use a little more lift, in my opinion.) If you disagree that the fashion strategy is not to emphasize the boobs, look at what the make-up artist has done to create the illusion of cleavage.

This is an unaltered press photo, completely unretouched. This is how she went out in public. Still, it’s a major improvement from the goings-on before. Kudos, Meredith Koop. Long may you wave. Looking forward to seeing more of your taming of the wild fashionista.

Published by Cripes Suzette

She is made of blue-eyed sunshine, taffy tresses and swaying charms.

12 thoughts on “Never Mind The Carpet And The Drapes – Does The Nose Stripe Match The Boob Crack?”

  3. Sorry, Suzette. Her legs have just gleamed during this SA vacation.
    As for uplift, what, pray tell, would be lifted?

    The dress hits her wide knees and one photo has her in her linebacker stance:

    Here’s the dress as shown on the runway – surprise:

  4. If cocktail dresses for every occasion except cocktail parties is an improvement, I guess you’re right. I do celebrate the demise of the upholstery/drapery fabric and hope it never comes back.

    Sadly, for the world, MOO’s best feature is her shoulders, so we’re endlessly exposed to them. Or they’re endlessly exposed to us.

  5. I’m not sure that emphasizing breasts that you don’t have is such a good idea. The lines of the bodice on this dress are like an artist’s sketch lines that indicate where breasts will later be drawn. Only there aren’t any breasts there, so the pancake bodice parts lie flatly against the manly chest.

    I think a more traditional empire bodice shape, straight across, would be better than this attempt to give MOO some missiles.

    I don’t the improvement that you mention. Her clothes are still tight, the fat ass is looking alike a meat bustle. Her hair has gotten much worse with the Sharpton Scrapeback now swelling at the top as if she has the misshapen skull of Tutankamen, which was produced by pressing the baby’s skull between two boards.

  6. You can put lipstick on that pig, but it’s still a pig……..
    There’s nothing feminine about this woman; more male features, look at these ugly legs, her manly posture, always having that ‘pissed-off look’; no boobs-they slipped into that big, and wide ass.

    One can be ugly, but when the personality is gentle and kind, it doesn’t matter. When you have no personality, and ugly-well I’ll leave the imagination to each one.

  8. The off-the-shoulderness of the dress makes me think it’s trying valiantly to escape before it gets blamed. Don’t cry, dress, it’s not your fault.

  11. […] on boob enhancement to distract from her other less attractive body parts. Last week, we tried painting on a cleavage stripe to give the impression of large boobs; this week we celebrate our flapjackness. Love how the empty […]

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