Michelle Obama: Elementary School Failure, Affirmative Action Success

1. Her hand”writing”.

Hand writing analysis:" A normal baseline should be slightly wavy. A person with a straight baseline is tense and over disciplined. A very wavy baseline signals a person who is on an emotional roller coaster." What a pair, eh?

Either they gave her the April Fool’s pen to write with, or she’s a mess of corrections and poor penmanship. (FYI – there’s no such thing as the April Fool’s pen.) Or maybe someone tense and disciplined wrote over what she put down.

2. Gonna/gotta.

“I go to bed early. I can’t stay awake for the returns… I gotta get up, work out. I figured…it was gonna be whatever it was gonna be the next day. So I did, I did go to sleep,” she said with a laugh.

She would never have made it past my second grade teacher. And that was in a very small school system in an impoverished coal mining town.

3. Hopefully, other Princeton/Harvard lawyers/hospital administrators use better grammar than she does.


Jesus, lady – take one of your assistants off of wighat detail and let them correct your speaking notes before you get hold of them. Of course, that didn’t help much with the Gandhi message, now did it?

22 thoughts on “Michelle Obama: Elementary School Failure, Affirmative Action Success”

  1. Ha hahahaha… the “April Fool’s” pen.

    Luckily, she’s a fashion icon, so most people don’t notice what an idiot she is.

    Also, she suffers from a pretty severe case of MIMS (marbles in mouth syndrome). If you are unsure what that is, take a listen to Jesse Jackson. He’s the poster boy.

    1. Although I disagree vehemently with what he says, the “Reverend” Jackson was actually trained in traditional oratory in one of the last remaining bastions of that art: the black church. That and its sister skill – rhetoric – used to be a part of the traditional curriculum in many schools (but then, so was grammar and penmanship). No longer.

      That he uses his logos, pathos and ethos to communicate self-serving blather is beside the point. (After all, oratory was used to persuade people over to your point of view.)

      And no, I don’t know where the “Hymietown” remark fits into all this.

      1. It’s not *what* JJ says, it’s how he says it… he just flat doesn’t enunciate very well.

        Except when he read “Green Eggs and Ham” on SNL. That was the highlight of his dubious career, in my opinion.

  2. There are, I suspect, two different species of Bad Penmanship. I have the first: demonstrably excellent when initially taught, but years of osteoarthritis and laziness have turned my scrawl into something barely distinguishable from random scratching.

    Then there are those who apparently never were all that good at it to begin with. This is where you find the likes of MO.

    1. There is a third category – those whose penmanship is good unless they’re in a hurry, in which case it devolves into utter gibberish. Now, everyone in a hurry tends to be messier, but I’m talking about a bright line here, not just a little sloppy. My mom, for example, writes like an elementary school teacher – flowing, classic cursive – and in a hurry, she writes like… well, like a teacher in a hurry. It’s still more legible than 90% of the world’s writing. My dad, on the other hand, wrote in a strange garble of capitals and lower-case, all print, very fast, and if he was in a hurry it could be very hard to figure out.

      I’m the guy in the middle. I have very good handwriting for correspondance, but my handwriting turns into my father’s if I’m rushing it, right down to the mix of upper- and lowercase.

  3. I have, since the Immaculation, been intrigued by Dear Leader’s signature. I have. How many ‘tries’ and hours of ‘practice’ gave us that big ‘B’ big ‘O’ with the little ‘b’ (and the ama) tucked inside? Don’t you just KNOW that if he used the ‘Hussein’ as well that that ‘i’ would be dotted with a big, fluffy snowball (or possibly a puffy heart…depending on what he was signing).

    Sincerely, Big ‘M’ Big ‘O’ Big ‘S’ Big ‘C’…

    1. I remember as a young teen girl, practicing my signature with my girlfriends. We’d use pages of notebook paper trying different styles and pairing our names with certain boy’s names. I can almost see 0bama doing the same.

  4. I don’ t know how anyone can see “Rev.” Jesse Jackson as trained in any school. His oratory is irritating exaggeration, his speech rhythym theatrical and cartoon-like. Perhaps within the tradition of the black church he is accomplished, but in the rest of the world he is a clown. If he were an accomplished speaker he would know how to adapt his message to his audience and not expect that the rest of us will take seriously his flourishing emotional posturing.

  5. I have what I fancy to call “outbound dyslexia” (to go along with my normal dyslexia, heh) in the sense that it is very difficult for me to write with a pen or pencil as my letters continually come out transposed or elided, and on the keyboard as well, but God in His mercy allowed the invention of the computer backspace key. The nuns taught me great penmanship, and I even used to do calligraphy for pay, but casual writing escapes me. My handwriting really looks about as awful as MO’s, maybe worse. No roller coaster baseline for me, however. The repressive smack of the nun’s ruler on my knuckles still drives that part of my skills.

  6. S eriously, I saw this sort of halting, intermittant heavily traced-over letters in a book of handwriting analysis. The diagnosis wasn’t “messy”, “stupid”, or “careless”. Not even a mention of the dreaded “April Fool Pen Syndrome”. We are talking full-on, Joan Crawford mental illness.

  7. Moo is often described as an ‘angry Black woman’, imo the simple fact of being Black, has brought her a life of wealth and ease, that seems wholly un-earned. Learning how to use the System to her advantage seems to be the only actual work she has ever done, and even that road was well paved ahead of her. If she had been born White, she would have been lucky to get through a local college because she would have had to earn her grades and pay her way.
    ps. if she was White, I’d still see her as a clueless, useless and vain woman, it’s not her color it’s her lack of character and charm that makes her unlikeable, and the horrid, overpriced designer rags don’t help much.

  8. I also suffer from thinking faster than I write. My history if ever searched would turn up endless examples of traced over and crossed out errors. Having said that, if I were signing things for history I’d insist on pencil and eraser.

    1. Sheri – you can always hit ’em with Winston Churchill, who thus replied to a protest to his grammar (specifically, ending sentences with a preposition): “That is sort of arrant pedantry up with which I shall not put.”

  9. She was given the teeny ‘women’s pen’ to write her remarks. It kept falling from her fingers and BO had to hold her hand steady.

  10. Confirmation of Moo’s mental illness (the meds were off with the time change and all).

    Regarding the gonna, gotta, wanna and gettas, this is simply Obamish speak.

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