Cooch Problems, A Photo-Documentary

Here is your World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama on the world stage just being herself. You can dress her up but you can’t air her out. A burqa would have been a more forgiving choice for her here. I bet she’s kicking herself about that now. Or kicking someone anyway.

Jakarta, we have a problem. Furrows of concern creep onto the unBotoxed brow. WHAT WOULD JACKIE DO?

Lack of airing out has created a "situation" , cooch-wise. She's trying to bunch up the fabric of those pantalones and saw them back and forth for a little relief.

The fingers on her left hand are starting to curl towards their target. Concentrate! Concentrate! Must. Resist. Scratching. Oops - here we go.

Ahhhhhh! NOW we can smile

Okay! Casual hand placement! Goodbye! See you in Korea!

Question: what is the time line here? Did this unfortunate series of events happen before or after that Indonesian Prime Minister was forced to shake hands with her against his will?

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53 thoughts on “Cooch Problems, A Photo-Documentary

  1. All of the photos from India are brutal/honest.
    In a sort of defense, kinda like; if the Prez was having a, um, problem with his, er, package he would just, oh..rearrange whatever was..like maybe…out of place.

  2. Oh I knew I could count on you when I saw pics of her in that god awful outfit – but what about the pic of her from the rear – OMG!

    How is that magnificent Ruff – ian of yours?

  3. At last count 24 handmaidens and not a WON knows that ME!chelle is gonna have to remove her shoes??? At least they had Emergency FLOTUS Footsies packed. I haven’t seen a pair of those since I last had enough cash for a trip to Payless Shoes…(thanks, ObamEconomy).

  4. Growing up, watching Michael Jackson’s..er…dance moves, while sitting on Daddy’s lap, she vowed to pay homage to MJ one day,,,looks like she just did.

  5. I hope this experience gives Michelle Antoinette a little more insight into why she should be proud of her country. Muslims enforce gender apartheid and women are second class or maybe even third class. The squatty little man is not interested in her, another has as much as apologized for greeting her with a handshake, her head is muffled up like a loaf of bread to be kept hot and her body is shrouded into as close to a burkah as they dare impose on her. Women have rights in the USA because of the values of our founders and our ancestors who fought and pushed to extend the rights of citizenship to women. Our history is one of progress for women — perhaps MO will be a little less tolerant of BO’s bedazzlement with islamic countries.

  6. Looks to me like she was trying to hitch up her slacks so as not to trip. Couldn’t her staff get her something that FITS?!

    • And BTW: WOW, SC, WELL DONE!
      This is perfectly in keeping with your health care mission. MO should thank you. As Patsy Stone once said, now the world will be your gynecologist!

  7. Suzette,
    You are freakin’ hilarious. Have you thought of publishing a coffee table book with all your collected musings on MOO’s fashion wonderfullness? I’d be first in line at the book store.

  8. Mooch checking her cooch.

    Hilarious.

    And I do love the fact that she chose bile for her palette. Which is how I feel whenever I have to see Mooch in action.

  9. Suzette, that was hysterical! I really was LOLing. 😛

    By the way, I’m trying to find the right word for how she looks in that head scarf (first pic). It’s uncomfortable and she is trying to be cool about it, but she is stiff and not digging it. Or maybe it’s just like everything else, she just doesn’t look good wrapped in a scarf.

    Nancy Pelosi, on the other hand, was totally at home in hijab.

  10. I was watching Michelle during the whole India trip. I think the Indian press was determined to portray the Obamas as this young, dynamic couple who were a big hit with the yound Indians etc.. Couple of things struck me as very odd. She looked very unhappy,lonely and had a forced expression throughout. Except for the outfit she wore when she landed in Mumbai most of her outfits were illfitting and awkward. I was struck that when she was on her own to visit with the young students or the Crafts center she was not accompanied by the US Ambassador’s wife or any women from the entourage. Also for all the dinners nobody from the smart set from Mumbai or Delhi including Bollywood stars were invited.
    They would have really shown up the frumpy outfits she was wearing . This is Intl fashion and she is a style icon? women on the streets of mumbai and delhi or more colourfully and appropriately dressed

  11. “Looks to me like she was trying to hitch up her slacks so as not to trip.”
    You don’t start hitching up your pants at the crotch.

  12. I keep coming back to this and laughing. You can’t make this up. It’s cringeworthy godawful. Is her entire entourage so afraid of her they can’t tell her she looks worse than the bag ladies from whom (it appears) she gets her fashion tips?

  13. Gloriously funny!!!
    I laughed so hard when first perusing this time lapsed bit of humor, I couldn’t even type. Girl, you are good!!

  14. This is the lady that is supposed to be a CROSS between Jackie Kennedy and Princess Di. One that the LAME STREAM MEDIA tries to make out as being so cool, so concerned with the youth of our country, so much an elite Black Woman.

    Her actions, her dress, he comments while here in the United States and Abroad shows you can not take the ‘Robinson’ out of Corrupt Chicago and neither can you send one to elite Princeton and Harvard on Affirmative Action and CREATE A LADY.

    This woman like her husband is and will be a Traitors in the White House for the remainder of his term.

    Then they should both spend the rest of their lives for betraying the Constitution and occupying the White House when both know that BO is not a NATURAL born Citizen of the United States.

  15. LOL way too funny
    Even Carla could not match her… she’d never even try wearing such an awful outfit. The hands ROFLMAO …
    The suit reminds me of the pimps in San Francisco: add a purple hat, a black shirt, a golden tie, a whole bunch of gold and glitter (MOO has enough glitter to complete this look for next Halloween) and alligator boots with metal tips to protect the boots when kicking people.

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  17. Do you think they will show any of these great high fashion photos of our second coming of the beautiful Jackie Kennedy glamorous First Lady on any of the news channels?

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  19. I think we need to get from this display what it means to be a muslim woman. BO and the Little Hat Guy are wearing normal clothing, moving about freely, comfortable, and most importantly — talking to each other. MO is wadded up in a head rag, wearing clothes because they meet muslim rag cage requirements for women — and she is being IGNORED by both men. She is not there in any real sense. The clothing represents her not being there.

    My friend runs a bed and breakfast. Two muslim couples arrived and required their own food prepared by the wives. My friend tried to help by showing them around the kitchen, but the women’s poor English made everthing difficult. Then my friend’s husband arrived and guess what? The muslim men, who had been sitting in plain view and earshot of the kitchen turned out to speak fluent English. They had chosen not to help the women at all. The women were not real to them — my friend’s husband was.

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