Cookie Cooking

What ever is happening to me? NOW I feel the urge to make Christmas cookies. Maybe Ill even whip up a retro apron to wear while I’m baking. It must be the dreamy fantasy of standing in a retro sort of kitchen.

Nevertheless I plow ahead, fully cognizant that disappointment awaits in the reality of flour and  grease everywhere followed soon after by a sink full of crusty baking sheets that long to be washed. I’m making cookies this year.

Now, there are only 2 cookies that I’m dreaming about: Pineapple Cookies and Cracker Kisses. However, I am willing to entertain other suggestions, with the following exception:

NO CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES

Some of you already know that I don’t like chocolate in general but I’m sure I’ve never told you how violently I object to chocolate chips in any form but especially in cookies. Note well:  comments will not be entertained from those who try to tell me:

  • that I’m wrong about chocolate chip cookies
  • that  YOU like chocolate chip cookies
  • a recipe for chocolate chip cookies
  • chocolate chips in other recipes

I’m not kidding. One remark about chocolate chips and you get placed on my Naughty list. You don’t want to be there.

Pineapple Cookies are the best thing my mother ever made. She’d start the cookie factory going soon after Thanksgiving and make multiple batches of at least a dozen different kinds. They were stored in big containers on he counter top of the basement kitchen – the perfect location for filching by sudden volunteers to take laundry down or bring canned goods up. I have some recipes cards from the old house around somewhere – I’m sure this recipe is among them. The cookies were drop style, had walnuts in them and stayed soft and fresh forever.

And now From Our Department of I KNEW She Was Full of Shit:

Here is the recipe for Cracker Kisses which happen to be made with chocolate chips. Here it is repeated ver batim from a 1964 publishing of  The J*y of C**king cookbook before they revised it and rendered it loathsome and repellent:

CHOCOLATE CRACKER KISSES

[About Sixty 1-inch kisses]

The only people who will guess these ingredients are those who, in adolescence, happened to be devotees of thin chocolate candy bars between salted crackers.

Preheat oven to 350.

Heat over hot water:

2/3 cps semi-sweet chocolate chips or 1 oz. chocolate, plus 1/4 cup sugar.

Cool for about 5 minutes. Beat until very stiff:

2 egg whites

Add:

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

Beat in gradually:

2/3 cup sugar

Fold in gently:

3 tablespoons crushed salted soda crackers

and the cooled chocolate mixture.

Drop the meringue-like dough, a teaspoonful at a time, onto a well-greased cookie sheet. Bake about 10 to 12 minutes. Remove from the oven when a glazed cap has formed and puffed up over a 1/4 inch platform of the dough. Store, when cool, in a tightly closed container.

The cookies end up with a cracked stiff surface and a chewy center. Furthermore, they look hoary. I highly recommend them.

8 thoughts on “Cookie Cooking”

  1. I was kind of hoping you’d post the recipe for pineapple cookies.

    Last night I tried to make spritz cookies. I added rum and nutmeg for that elusive eggnog flavor. I then tried to get the dough through 2 different cookie presses, to no avail. No avail! So I rolled chunks of dough between my palms and flattened them out, instead. I was still feeling like they needed decoration, though, so I gently pushed the star tip from my decorating set into the center of each one before baking.

    Why the hell couldn’t I work a cookie press?

    1. I have never EVER been able to successfully use a cookie press.

      My favorite cookies now are bar cookies. The kind where you slap delicious batters into oblong pans and then cut up the baked results into bite sized or larger pieces. Even The Cookies That Shall Not Be Mentioned Here are pretty good done that way.

  2. Oh gosh, please post the pineapple cookie recipe if you find it. These sound fantastic!!!

    If you don’t like chocolate chips, so be it!! Everyone has likes and dislikes. Tying to talk someone into trying/eating something they don’t like is futiel

    Not that anyone cares but I don’t like mushrooms. Although, I highly doubt you’ll find a Christmas cookie recipe with them in it!

    🙂

  3. Cranberry/Pistachio cookies – num num –
    1 cup softened butter
    1 cup vegetable oil
    1 cup sugar
    1 cup brown sugas
    2 eggs
    2 tsp vanilla
    about 3 1/2 cups flour
    1 tsp salt
    1 tsp baking powder
    1 tsp baking soda
    2 1/2 to 3 cups rice crispies (or some such)
    1 to 1 1/2 cups old fashioned oats
    1 1/2 cups cranberries
    1 1/2 cups pistachios

    cream butter, oil, and sugars
    beat in egg and vanilla
    add the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda and mix

    stir in cereal, oats, cranberries and nuts

    spoon onto ungreased cookie sheets and bake at 350 for 10-12 min

    I tend to add extra cereal, cranberries, and pis-mash-yous cause that makes the cookies extra yummy 🙂

    and narry a chocolate morsel in sight…

  4. Could this be the recipe?
    Iced Pineapple Cookies
    Oven 375 8-10 minutes
    Cream ½ cup shortning,
    ¾ c sugar
    Add and beat 2 eggs
    Add 1c drained crushed pineapple
    Sift and add
    2 c flour
    2 tsp baking powder
    ¼ tsp soda
    ¼ tsp salt
    add ½ c chopped nuts
    drop and bake on ungreased cookie sheet

    Icing
    Brown 6Tbsp butter
    Add 3Tbsp boiling pineapple juice
    1 tsp vanilla
    ½ c powdered sugar

    I live in the Rockies so the temperature may need adjustment. I got this recipe from my friend who got it from her mother which puts it in the correct era.

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