Tears Fall

Tears were falling out of me today.

I can’t tell you that I was actively crying – it’s just that disappointment was overflowing and dripping out of me. I’ve put up with the marginalization, the devaluation and the daily insultation only so I could hang on till the end point which was supposed to be today. Now it looks like the cruel puppet master holds my strings for a little longer.

It’s not personal – I know that. If it was personal, that would be easier to take.  Its an awful thing to be me right now. I can’t even control the tears that insist on puddling up and  leaking out, rendering me the thing that is to be avoided at all costs: a reactionary emotionalist*.

I’ve already applied the antidote: sitting on the twilight deck after a week away, amidst flowerpots that sb;atently lie about  their promise, adored by man and beast with equal intensity, unwound by sauvignon blanc. Tears continue to fall. Just fall, all on their own. While I’m not afraid of what it means now, I’m afraid of what it portends.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

* A cry- baby.

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8 thoughts on “Tears Fall

  1. you know what family of words is poorly underused? portents and their verb to portend. sure and omen here and a sign there, but portents, they are rare.

  2. Gads, Have I been away that long? I have no idea what you are talking about anymore, but it sounds like you are a mess. You should have come to Houston to re-charge your batteries. You need some piss and vinegar.

  3. Oh, Suzette, I’m sorry.
    I wish I could be helpful. All I can say is don’t let the turkeys get you down, but of course, sometimes, that’s a whole lot easier said than done.

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