Can I Paint Anything Green for You Today?



photos courtesy of

The Society for a Second Chance
Wooden Patio Furniture 20 Years Past Its Prime

I’m not just the founder, I’m the only member. Another way to look at it is that I’m New Jersey’s premier preservationist of this stuff. And why not? Go on with your flimsy plastic and wanna-be cast aluminum gaudiness.  Sheeple! Open your eyes to the quality (while ignoring the rot.) Swoon over the curved and routed arms. Admire it.

I do have one unpaid employee, though, whose mission it is to be on call for when I spot curbside discards. People don’t understand what they are throwing away!  Throwing away!  He understands that he must rush right over to beat the garbage truck so that we can bring it back to the preserve I have going on here, or at worst, harvest the springs and slats for my bank of replacement parts.

Next up: an afternoon of flowerbed clean-up then  cushioned comfort on the newly-stained deck, Prairie Home companion on the outdoor radio, and sharing a bottle of wine with a special visitor from the West.

Ah, the internets – where else could one document mundane details as if it were breaking news? Come back later tonight as I will be posting an update to this entry and reveal whether or not I was able to get the cork out of the bottle opener without using my teeth.

UPDATE: In the battle of man vs. machine, the winner is … man! Oh yeah. The OXO cork pull, so magnificent in its smooth operation in removing corks from wine bottles, ususally gives me a good fight by holding onto said cork by hiding it deep within its smoky plastic recesses. But not tonight.

In other news, the special visitor from the West is my son, flown  back this weekend for a job interview because he does not care for bad California but instead prefers the goodness Home Sweet New Jersey. Of course, we want him to be happy but we were kind of planning that he get happy in a better location than this so that we could sell our pile of lumber in Monmouth County and follow him. I would say that now our dreams of escape fall onto the shoulders of the family’s newest college graduate, our daughter, but she’s headed back here as well to do her graduate work at Rutgers. If that’s the way it has to be, I’m hoping that I can at least get a little lawn mowing and vacuuming out of her.

2 thoughts on “Can I Paint Anything Green for You Today?”

  1. It’s such a nice day outside.. people are delivering topsoil to our home and others want me to google “shade grass”.. can’t they just leave me alone?
    Am I the keystone ? Do I care?

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