I accidentally spray painted the dog’s face today. Not his whole face. Just his mouth and nose. He’s been wheezing and hacking all morning. You were the one who walked into the spray mist uninvited, Stedman. Why do I have to feel so guilty about it?
The peacefulness of my morning coffee on the deck has been shattered by some kind of nature emergency in my backyard.
A furious swirl of birds came swooping over the deck, tumbled around over the garage and then zoomed in wide arcs near the trees over the side fence. The sound they were making was without doubt screaming. They’d keep flying back towards a big tree on the opposite side of the yard where a wild chittering was happening. They’d keep doing the wide arc alarm flights towards every compass point and occasionally stop to light on the branches of the big tree. The chittering never stopped.
This was an interspecies event. Single birds would come from wherever their morning bird business was going on and they would also light near the tree. I couldn’t tell you what kinds of birds they were – they all looked black against the sunny sky – but I could see that the main swirl of alarm birds were all the same size and some of the new joiners were smaller. The cardinal that is currently guarding a nest in the branch pile at the edge of the creek did not participate.
Chittering, screaming and arcing went on for at least 6 minutes, which seems to me like a long time for a nature emergency. Here’s an oddity: my dog, always one for a good galloping dog-on-bird bark session*, was completely silent and still during the whole thing. Then the skies went silent all at once.
Maybe a squirrel was molesting a nest but #1 I think squirrels are vegetarians and #2 nest molestation must happen all the time. I’ve never seen such a ruckus before #3 multiple species of birds were involved. Would a dark-eyed junco care if Phoebe babies were ravaged? i suppose it could have been something involving the local Red Tailed Hawk but I didn’t hear the typical hawk screeching and the action was definitely happening at a sea level much lower than where the hawk usually perches and you would think that a trouble-making hawk would grab what he’s after and head for higher ground instead of staying at the crime scene.
Now it’s all over. After the silence, the normal gentle birdsong resumed.
* First the tragedy and now the comedy. Suzette, you are inappropriate.
One of the tweets I am most proud of got no reaction at all from the Twitterati. And that speaks volumes about them, I think, not me. Read this and evaluate it for me please. Is it witty or am I losing my touch?
I slay me!
MOTHER’S DAY UPDATE:
Brunch: Champagne and caviar.
Lupper: Grilled Salmon burgers
Dessert: Wierdo hippie ice cream
Later: presents galore
My children are the best, all 3 of them.
The Scene: Mid morning out on the sunny deck. A chill breeze blows.
The Players: A man, a woman, a little dog
Man: How were those cookies I brought you before?
Woman: Good. Plain and tasty. I shared them.
Man: Shared them‽ With who?
Woman: [does not speak but side eyes the dog]
Man: [does not speak but conveys the impression that he is working up a wise crack]
Woman:[defensively] I’ve got nobody left to mother! I even washed his ass today.
Man: This is when I miss my mother. If she was still here, she would have washed MY ass for ME.
Woman: I still would wash the asses of our kids if they would let me.
Man and Woman: [contemplative silence]
It’s the middle of the night and I can feel myself being ravaged by a fast-moving virus. It started with a dry tickle of a cough about two hours ago and then it flashed through sort of a sore throat to yep that’s a sore throat and down to hotness between my shoulder blades. Now my nose is running too and I felt like I had to get out of bed to maximize my air intake.
I haven’t been sick in a long time. I don’t enjoy being sick. I have a lot to do and this is going to be a drag. I don’t blame Denver per se for this illness. I’m just saying that even though I have spent much time breathing recirculated hospital air and sleeping on benches in ICU waiting rooms, I remained sturdy and healthy when I limited my travel to Danville PA. One 36-hour visit to Denver CO and my robust good health is shot to hell.
In other news … On the very day that World Famous Fashion Icon and Busybody Michelle Obama has drawn a bead on fat dogs, Stedman has shed 5 pounds (of dirt) by the simple act of visiting the groomer. Speaking of fat dogs …
Morning Update: Now my voice is croaky. And I have to lead 2 hour-long conference calls today. Point of clarification: while I enjoy being the recipient of long-distance sympathy for my condition, that is not what this post is about. It’s just spewing.
A little dog wonders how he ended up on the wrong side of the door.
Twelve hours later, a perfect day comes to an end.