Lazy Susan

Don’t get me wrong – it’s not like I don’t have anything to do. It’s that I don’t have anything better to do than moon over dishes on the internet. Inside, I could be sorting through the piles of clothing that I don’t wear anymore and bagging up various garments for removal from the premises. Outside, I could be pulling weeds or planting the last patch next to the driveway. But instead, I’m trolling the internet for china tea sets. Or parts thereof.

Q: But Suzette – don’t you already have a china tea set? And more dishes in general than you can ever possibly use?

A: What’s your point?

Here’s the thing: I find it soothing to look for things that I might possibly gift to (some unidentified) somebody at (no particular) sometime in the (vaguely defined) future. Unfortunately, in real life I am surrounded by vulgarians who do not wish to clutter themselves up with unnecessary household goods. I don’t understand it but there it is. And so I have to just content myself with the cyber version of window shopping.

But look what I found. Swoon! And I wasn’t even going to mention this because I still harbor the smallest glimmer of a notion that I might find someone to gift this upon. But what the heck here it is.

A breathtaking set of fine china; perfect for Tea/Coffee & Dessert or as a Luncheon Set  $35.00

Someone has so skillfully put together three different complimentary patterns from three different manufacturers that you have to look hard at them to realize it. This is just the kind of thing that kills me, especially since tea pots and sugar/creamers are still plentifully available to make this a full set. And can you imagine all this beauty for only $35.00? In the world of pieced-together china, sets this is unheard of.

So there it is, cyber buddies. Take it away. Pale pink roses, grey leaves and stems, platinum trim. * le sigh*

Okay. I confess. My Never Rests Neighbor, as opposed to my Volatile And Angry Neighbor on the other side, has been out there for hours doing things – big things – to maintain and improve his property. Which happens every day. But today I’m trying to focus on being lazy and he is right under my office window pushing his power mower around at breakneck speed. It made me so nervous that I had to step away from the keyboard and throw a couple of stained shirts and an old slip into a black garbage bag. If he keeps it up out there,  I might have to put away the winter nightgowns.

I’m Afraid To Search For A Kleenex Used By Dr. Dre

Q: What is the world’s greatest song?

A: “eBay” by Weird Al

Do you remember on Bewitched when Samantha could summon up the presence of witches and warlocks just by saying something like “Dr. Bombay come right away”? This week, I discovered that I could summon up the presence of my BFF by singing Weird Als “eBay”.

Of course, I could only summoned her to GoogleTalk, not to my living room so I’m not claiming to be a witch or anything. I just call upon the power of Weird Al whenever I need a little assistance. Anyway, the BFF and I agree that eBay is the greatest song ever.

And of course, after singing it five or six times, who among us can resist searching  for an Alf Alarm Clock?

OB-viously familiar with the master’s work.

Now I don’t know if this is eBay giving the Weird Al fans a little chuckle or if this is the natural progression of search terms after “Alf Alarm Clock”. Either way, it’s funny.

Horrible Things I Did Not Buy Today

Remember the meerkat water fountain? I went back to that garden center today and discovered that their nature studies are not limited to fountains. Here is a … statuary, I guess it is. And I’m thinking you could use it indoors OR outdoors. Or maybe move it around as the seasons change. Well worth the investment I suppose but I’m not really in the market for parent/child wildlife sculptures.

$167.99

Shopping from home fared no better today. I’m  careful with what I look at on eBay. It’s such a time suck just tending to my regular goings-on there that I don’t need to be looking at curiosities. Deep into the pages of search results for “mexican cactus dish” what do I come across but a not-to-be-ignored Hand Painted Camelot Broadway Show Planter Plant Pot:

For sale we have a gorgeous Camelot Broadway show plant pot. This was hand painted by [nobody you know] with acrylic paints and a coat of polyurethane. Could be used outdoors and indoors for that perfect artistic touch! Depicts Julie Andrews and Richard Burton as well has text with song titles and such surrounding the top. Comes complete with saucer. Pot measures approx. 6″ W x 5.5″ H. Saucer measures 6″ W x 1″ H.

This art object is selling for $49.99. I guess that’s real gold around the rim and saucer. You can totally tell it’s a one of a kind piece. Observe the hand application of pink paint blobs, the hand lettering including extra-artsy random bolding. By the way, how do you spell the name of King Arthur’s wife? I’m not entirely sure that this is it. I guess the artist was coming down off the high of getting to write out “FIE” that details like spelling didn’t matter.

“My grandma really loved seeing Richard Burton on Broadway! Can you make her something special?”

Used! That might start to explain why this exists. It may have been a well-intentioned gift for someone, maybe even a commisoned piece.

The NBC Narration Reminded Me Of “Best In Show”

A message from Suzette: My posts, no matter what simple thought they start out with, seem to be turning into TL;DR type of things. So just to spare you the pain of reading through this whole thing, I’ll give you the key words* so you can skim to the part that interest you. If any.

Key words:

• Olympics opening ceremony
• gin
• corgis
• eBay
• bone china

*What ho, Bertie?  As has become obvious to everyone – even me – that except for the Olympics, these things are pretty much the subject of every post I make.

………………………………………..

I just heard someone on   call the Olympic opening ceremony “eccentric”. (5) Strongly Agree I tried to live tweet it but I grew bored and drifted away. Here are some selected excerpts:

I can only do so much with the material that I’m handed.

All I can say is that I fully understand why Emma Thompson divorced Kenneth Branagh. I could never take looking at that smug mug every morning. Even without the beaver fur hat. Love that the Queen was as disinterested as the rest of us. I bet she was thinking about gin, too.

Queen Elizabeth picks her nails during obtuse extravaganza at the Olympics opening ceremony.

The Queen’s “usual” is gin and dubonnet. Here she is in a happier setting on vacation at Balmoral.

The Queen Mother drank it every day – mixed three parts Dubonnet, seven parts gin, with a twist of lemon – and was even known to take a small bottle with her on journeys, ‘just in case.’ The Queen inherited her passion and enjoys a Dubonnet and gin every day before lunch, and reportedly one before bed too.

ADDENDUM:

I must say that I was vastly amused, not with the heavy-handed NHS love-fest overall, but with the message that was delivered when the monkey monsters showed up and scared the wards of the state  in their back-lit beds. The next characters were a cloudburst full of NANNIES fer cripes sake  spiraling over them with their LED umbrellas come to save them from the things they were worried about. Thanks because the hit over the head with the NHS theme wasn’t hard enough until that point.

Roy Kirkham “Poppies” Lancaster shape bone china mug. This is not mine and it never will be.

Also – and this is where I am now writing to a very limited audience. We use two bone china cups from England via eBay to drink coffee out of every morning. We both love them because they are deliciously thin and have a fine but not sharp edge that feels fabulous on on the lip. They also are the best for retaining the heat in hot drink. So I’ve been trolling eBay for more mugs – maybe something with a splash of red to get the mornings off to a swift start. Poppies seemed like a good be and lo the same company does offer a poppy pattern. But it’s all messed up with wheat stalks and so I could never tolerate the untended feild-y-ness of it.

Did you see the poppies in wheat as an image of Britain that made the cut for a signifyer in the opening ceremony? Same thing. I get that the flowers were a reference to the battlefields of WWI but wheat didn’t pop up from the soldiers’ graves on the Somme, did it?  If it did, I’m pretty sure it would have been mentioned in that poem. Maybe that’s how poppies grow over in England. Maybe that’s how they grow everywhere. Maybe I’m one of those ingnernt  murricans that doesn’t know anything about other countries. Where do American poppies grow – California, right? Do they pop up all willy-nilly in the wheat fields of Fresno, too?

Finally, Daniel Craig is my enemy forever for that nasty look he threw to the corgis as he helicoptered away from them.

Smell Like A Kennedy

A long time ago, I read something about Rose Kennedy’s perfume. She always wore the same scent and kept it’s identity a secret, even from her own children both when they were small and grown.

The passage went something like Rose would appear in the children’s bedrooms, all dressed up and bejeweled and smelling wonderful. No matter how they tried to get it out of her, Rose would never reveal what the scent was. Today, thanks to Al Gore’s internet, it’s written down for all the world to know. It was Liu by Guerlain.

“Liù was discontinued after Rose Kennedy’s death and briefly reissued in 2005 by Jean Paul Guerlain in the Eau de Toilette concentration only, and then discontinued again with no explanation. Soon afterwards however it entered Les Parisiennes line, the exclusive line-up at Boutique Guerlain, in Eau de Parfum concentration and double the price, where it remains to this day (hopefully for good!). The re-issue of Liù in Eau de Parfum can be found in the big bee bottles at the Guerlain boutiques and at Bergdorf Goodman. The vintage parfum makes sporadic appearences on Ebay.”

                                           Perfume Shrine, Liu by Guerlain

I was disappointed to see that Jackie Kennedy has a relatively pedestrain list of go-to fragrances with nothing specified as a favorite.

Joy, Fleurissimo, Bal A Versailles, 1000 Patou, Jil Sander 4, Jicky, Lorenzo Villoresi(light Citrus), Mad Moments, Personal Artviva fragrance, Fleurissimo, Valentino, Fiori Di Capri

Ethel Kennedy, mother of multiple Kennedy creeps,  was said to out-Kennedy all of the vigorous children of Rose and Joe. She was right int here witht he boating and the touch football and the competitive spirit. And guess what her frangrance was? Liu! Poor dumb Ethel, trying in every way to be a Kennedy and not a Skakel.

FYI – Michelle Obama smells like cherries*. Also cheeseburgers.

* Your grain of salt: I call bullshit on this article’s claim for MOO’s favorite scent. It is well-known that the one mentioned is actually Laura Bush’s signature scent. Someone was probably going through the White House garbage and came across a bottle that was swept into the bin when the O’s moved in and came to the wrong conclusion. Also, this article goes on to refer to SJP as “the most respected celebrity in the perfume-making world” so right there is cause for suspicion.