I Tried To Deny My Gift

Ok, look. I’ve been a little depressed about the whole Hillary situation.

Why is she acting so dumb and ruining her own chances to be a presidential candidate in the next go-round? It’s almost like it’s purposeful and she really doesn’t want to do it. Or that she knows she is unfit* and does not want her lack to get onto the historic record of her public career? I was really looking forward to getting back into analysis of the political messages contained in her wardrobe as she moved herself back into he national spotlight. But the way things were going – the stupid dead broke comment, the bad reviews of the latest book, the connecting the dots of her performance as SoS and the resulting disaster in the Mideast -it just looked like none of us were going to have the pleasure of having her as the candidate.

It was too sad to bear. Never mind the subtle-to-wicked progression of calculated swipes at the Obmamas – we were also to be denied Grandma Hillary trotting out Chelsea’s offspring. No play dates -yea, no betrothal! – with her grandchild and her godchild, no clever references to her status as loyal but  publicly wronged wife, no ChelseaCare which would be some rehashed thing related to maternal health and would wipe the goddam Obama right out of ObamaCare. What a world that would have been.

And then …. just as I was losing my last hope … she comes along and does this:

Chelsea Clinton Graduates From Oxford University, Britain - 10 May 2014

BOOM bah BOOM bah BOOM bah BOOM bah BOOM

Here she is dressed in a full length leather coat , coincidentally the color of a tank, IN AUGUST as she practically plows forward. Look at the strained cords of her instep and tell me that’s not a firm purposeful stride meant to strike fear into the hearts of those one the sidelines and to propel her forward towards an endpoint of her own choosing. Hillary, you magnificent bastard. Even with your brain damage, all the tanks in Patton’s army put together were  not as fearsome as you are now.

She is the master of keeping people off balance. I can see now that her present strategy is “a little bit of this/a little bit of that”. In the same week that she criticized Obama for his Mideast mess – a mess that so obviously reveals the heavy hand of Hillary herself stirring up the couscous but let’s not mention that – she gets all dolled up and goes out to strut her stuff in this get up:


yoiky ploiky!

The internet is positively creaking under the load of the many remarks that have been made  about this event, mostly centering on that muu muu or the brazen flaunting of her cankles, and people – this is exactly why you need me to get back in the game. The guys might not have landed on it but every lady who sees this image zeros in on the main message and that is that she’s not going to run. Evidence? No bra.

Going out in public with no bra is a very clear indicator of a woman’s state of mind. You don’t see  nancy Pelosi running around without a bra. Running around, yes. Running around without a bra, no. And you’re not going to catch World Famous Fashion Icon And Busy Mom Michelle Obama™ as God made her (= no falsies), either.  But here Hillary is telling us that she doesn’t care and she  is giving up.

But is she really? Look at that frock again. She’s wearing owning! a frock which is assumed to be of Hawaiian origin (message: Aloha to your legacy, Barry, once I take over.)  Now look again. The neckline trim is not muumuu-ish at all. In fact, it’s quite galabeya- like (message: Not to worry, habibis. Jiddah’s got your back.)

Oh gawd, isn’t she wonderful? She’s running, she’s not running, she’s bullying, she’s reassuring – all in one modest garment. And she’s doing it without make up, coiffure or accessories!

* Assignment: Discuss in what ways Hillary Rodham Clinton is unfit for the Presidency of the United States.

Dimbo Eruption

As glad as I am to see Hillary Rodham Clinton back in the intense glare of the spotlight, I just could not watch the tongue bath ABC gave her last night. The dimbos and the lowfos and even the homegrown baby “feminists” that populate the internet these days will continue to swallow it all hook line and sinker without question.

What I’m really afraid of is that she is going to ruin it all much too soon. Cut it out with the goofy faces, Hilz. Maybe she”s trying to prove she’s not botoxed by all of those facial contortions she goes through. Lord knows that will be a welcome change, but she sure has something going on there.

Question: is this hair or is excess skin pulled tight?

an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned face lift

an old fashioned girl with an old fashioned face lift

It’s hard to believe that her colorist would leave undyed hair strands in so obvious a place. maybe they were going for that distinguished touch of grey at the temples look? What then is that swipe of pure brown going on right above the questionable patch? It appears to be an exact match to the roots on her forehead. Someone has obviously been working her over.

I think she’s had a(nother) good old fashioned face lift. And it’s artfully done, too. A little eye bag, some forehead furrows and a bit of  jowl and wattle make the overall effect its remarkably natural. In the end,  this is just a sloppy hair clip-in arrangement. Get it together, Hillary. 2016 is a long time away to be subjecting your audiences to such amateurish mistakes.

Overall, I think we can safely conclude that high definition tv is harsh mistress.

ADDENDUM: I do believe Hillary has a little lady-pattern baldness going on here as well.


we’ll leave the topic of where her real eyebrows start and end for another time

Maybe that root touch-up maneuver is to emphasize her faint widow’s peak . OR MAYBE IT’S TO HIDE THE HAIR PLUGS. And the smudge, the artful smudge to give the illusion of hair where there is none. Her hairdresser is in trouble but her make-up guy is a genius.

Although I feel it is my duty to point out the HillaryCraft that goes on, I am not entirely displeased with the overall effect. In a world where the current First Lady/World Famous Fashion Icon/Busy Mom/Nutrition Expert aspires to be Beyonce, a mature woman who channels Helen Mirren might be just the kind of comforting female leader the country has been yearning for.



Not Exact But Close Enough

Ladies and Gentlemen, what you see before you is the product of four hours work. Four non-consecutive hours. Four hours spread out over six days.


But whatever. I got it done.

I feel very accomplished because I got this little flower bed done. Even though at the end of each gardening session I found it necessary to take a shower, two Aleve and a nap.

The bird is the former resident of my favorite birdbath – the one that got smashed by a fallen tree during one of the many hurricanes. I always thought it was made out of concrete but it turns out to be heavy but hollow plastic. The bird only has one good side now and even then you have to forcibly turn your eyes away from the crack along the top of its one good wing. But it’s the right size and shape for that spot and the casual passerby would never know the extent of its damage. Plus I like the idea of giving it a second life.

It’s a bit worrisome to me that my two new Bela Lugosi day lilies are turning yellow at the tips, but it is heartening that the original one, the victim of Sami’s helpful weeding, is making a comeback. I found a worm and threw it in there before I mulched to take advantage of the beneficial microbes in the FlowerTone fertilizer I sprinkled around the plants. But when I saw those yellow tips, I went into full bore Suburban Chemical Gardener mode and drenched them all worm included  with a good soaking shower of Miracle Grow.

hrcAlso, I would like to know how Hillary Clinton can march in a local Memorial Day Parade? She looks older than me, she is older than me and she has some kind of brain something that took her 6 months to get over, according to her husband. And she marched in pointy high heels, it looks like. How is this possible? this article does say that she took part in the New Castle Memorial Day parade without much fanfare and without her typical entourage” so maybe she just slipped away from her minders and walked down off the front porch to walk along.

I’m a little worried about her. You should be too. It was 86 degrees around these parts today and HRC went for an impromptu stroll wearing a long sleeved jacket and a scarf.



My God The Woman Is A Genius

Do not for a minute doubt the utter genius of Hillary Rodham Clinton. Long time readers know how adept she is at sending political messages via her wardrobe choices and we all respect and admire that even if we don’t agree with the message. But she has stepped it up a notch by sending messages via the animal kingdom.

In 2011, it came to light that The Clinton’s had two dogs – an athritic lab and a bouncy poodle.

When I’m home, we go on these walks and we have this old Labrador who has arthritis, and we always try to convince him to come out for a walk. And then we have this toy poodle that we got to keep the Labrador company and to try to get the Labrador to be more energetic. And she’s, like, bouncing all the time.”

Hmmm. Getting a bouncy younger dog to re-energize the slower older one. Where have I heard this before? I think it was quite recently.


Apparently, their canine tribe has increased to 3. Not content with out-vacationing the Obamas by working through the NYT to let it be know that they’ve been coming to the Hamptons so long that they’ve established multiple circles, – they’ve got a regular place for junk food and they go to night clubs but are not so vulgarly arriviste – but now they have out-dogged them as well.

…  morning walks on the beach with their dogs. (They now have three: Seamus, an 8-year-old arthritic chocolate Labrador; Tally, a poodle; and a new companion, Maisie, a curly-haired pup of undetermined breed.)

Do you see the genius here? No? Let me assist:

  • Seamus, an 8-year-old arthritic chocolate Labrador – just in case the Low Fos can’t remember the name of BJ’s first chocolate lab and how it met its untimely death at a young age, the illusion is created that this chocolate lab – so old it’s got arthritis! – is the one BJ had while still in office. No worries that the Low Fos can discredit this notion by actually counting off the years. 
  • Tally, a poodle - Hell yeah a poodle. A toy poodle. There’s your women’s vote right there. I’d sure vote for a presidential candidate with a toy poodle. How very sly that these dogs are familiarly known as “French Poodles” but this one if referred to only a “a poodle”. Let’s see BHO wiggle away from the “Portuguese” part of his dog’s breed. America!
  • Maisie, a curly-haired pup of undetermined breed – Aaand the hammer falls.  Take that,  Obama. No PETA pounding here for buying a pedigreed animal instead of getting a rescue dog. No mention that Maisie actually was a rescue, but seriously who is going to lay out any kind of money for a pup of undetermined breed?

And just to be sure they win the one-upping, it was revealed that there’s a 4th Clinton dog – this one the most beloved of all even though no one knew of its existence before. True or not, the story is out there about a 4th dog.  And you how it is - if you read it on the internet, it must be true.

Stop. The. Presses.

h2Read these tea leaves:

Feminine hairdo?  √ 

Serious but form flattering new suit? √ 

Cat that ate the canary face? 


Oh please Lord – from Keith Koffler’s lips to Your ears. How I long for the nation’s daily spotlight to shine on Hillary again. How wonderful it would be to have such a skilled manipulator, such a masterful deliverer of the passive-aggressive cheap shot, such an innocently wide-eyed performer of the what do you mean what do I mean routine put herself before us for scrutiny once again.

Oh sure she’s never been off the stage but I have to conclude that the nitty gritty of her performance as Secretary of State wasn’t really something that she wanted on display. Hello Mid-Eastern fruit of her labors! I don’t even care – just give us something interesting to watch again. World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™ Michelle Obama was good for a few rounds of the same laugh for a while there but how long was it really before that got old? I mean one can only make the same little eye/wave that crotch around joke so many times.

No more – the trashy behavior grows dull, the inelegant and 8th grade level speeches begin to bore, the blatant greed and disregard for her prestigious position is becomes tarsome instead of shocking and as the most beautiful most tasteful most brilliant narrative is finally blessedly! petering out.  Now – give us Hillary. And give us along with her the hound dog husband and the chubby brother, the Planned Parenthood-pushing daughter with the Whack-A-Mole careers and the ski bum husband. Give us photo ops with Nancy Pelosi visibly choking back her disdain and please dear Lord give us the pantsuits.

Here’s some other public activity that we might be seeing in the very near future. Be on the lookout for:

  • Hillary & Bill – possibly Chelsea & what is it Mike? Mark? – obtain a photogenic pet that quite suddenly becomes the subject of prolonged media attention.
  • There’s a barely perceptible public put-down (wink wink) directed towards Huma’s husband at about the same time that Hillary inserts single motherhood due to cheatin’ snakes  into her daily rhetoric.
  • A certain  Muslim/Jewish toddler with a cheatin’ snake for a father  inexplicably gets baptized.  Godmother: Hillary Rodham Clinton.
  • Chelsea Clinton goes under the knife again to shave off the parts of her original face that grew back since her initial surgical makeover.

    hrc cc

    June 2013

Hot Seat Hillary

I longed for the day that Hillary would be back in the national spotlight everyday but this isn’t going to be much fun.

In a serious society, Benghazi, standing alone, would spell the end of Hillary Clinton’s public career.

Revelations about Benghazi on September 11th are coming at a rapid pace now and it’s hard to keep track of what I read and where, but yesterday something whizzed by that said the State Department (HRC) did an end run around the counter-terrorism people and then went on to say this is exactly what happened at Waco in ’93.

If that’s true, Benghazi alone means that Hillary killed more people than the Boston bombers. Combined with Waco, we’re talking outdoing Jeffrey Daumer, Ted  Kaczynski and John Wayne Gacy put together.


Will it hurt her chances for a presidential run in 2016? No silly, she’s a Democrat and she’s a master of the straight-faced lie.

Ready For My Close-Up, Mr. DeMille

I must say that in light of the sickening things I’m reading and hearing today the one little ray of sunshine is Hillary Clinton’s hairdo. Do you not love that she has been traipsing around the globe, attending formal events and posing for photo-ops with hair that looks like the season’s first scarecrow?

Today she shows up after some deep conditioning and a full head of hot rollers to read a statement to “reporters”. AND THEN shows up 40 minutes later keeping an eye on the Empty Chair of the Free World with a fresh comb-out!

Bread & Peace, people. Bread & Peace.