Everything Is Going Wrong

Have I mentioned that I can’t do anything right anymore? My big plans for fabulous food this weekend are not off to a good start.

I don’t know if I ever mentioned that my daughter gave me a butter lamb mold for Christmas. I pulled it out today with the intention of making some herb butter and then possibly some beet juice butter to mold up and accompany the commercial butter lamb that Sami brought home this wee. Can you picture it? A whole flock of diverse butter lambs. Teaching the world to sing. Apple trees and honeybees.

But I digress.

The herbed butter lamb has a big pock mark on its face and now I don’t feel like making beet juice butter. I had big  plans to smash Keller’s grip on the global butter lamb market but it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen now.

bl

Maybe I’ll pretend that pock mark is a mouth and hang some parsley out of it.

In other news, this is how you have two bossy cooks working at the same time: an annex kitchen. You are looking at a FryDaddy and a FryBaby in simultaneous action:

sam

He was planning to let two vats of hot oil bubble away on their own while he popped over to Shoprite for some cucumbers. When I disagreed with that plan, he gave in suspiciously easily. But whatever.

I thought I threw that plastic tablecloth out years ago and I would a have pitched a fit about it now except should see the get-up he’s got on do do his outdoor cheffing. He walked into the kitchen wearing one of my old scrub jackets from pre-1998. And he brazenly admitted that he found it when he was cleaning out the garage. It was white at one time but now it has various spreading stains on it from an unattended decade and a half in a cardboard box.

Two steps forward, one step back. I don’t know. Everything is going wrong.

If Only Someone Would Start A Blog Dedicated To The Butter Lamb

I’m the one with the butter lamb fetish but my daughter follows all things lamb cake. Looking for inspiration for her annual effort, I suppose. Check this out:  Mary had a little lamb, with icing white as snow.

Some of them are so gruesome they are making me choke with laughter. It’s hard to pick a favorite but if I had to, I’d say it’s this one:

How appropriate for this time of year! It looks more like a Macy’s Parade float than a cake, doesn’t it? I don’t know which decorative element I like more – the gum drop bell or the HoHo legs. I see they were going for livestock realism by making a nose out of sideways M&Ms.

The wide range of facial stylings and the creative implementation of the decorator’s vision is killing me. Some are missing a nose or mouth and a few unfortunates have no features at all. Some give the overall impression of being a dog or a goat rather than a lamb but really you should take a look at them all.

Like Buttah

Sunny Sunday. Those weathermen don’t know a thing about making accurate predictions.

It was sunny in Philadelphia and we spent as much time as possible on the terrace. And by terrace, I mean a 3 x 6 ft fire escape. Only 3 folding chairs could get squeezed into that space so we had to develop a schedule to rotate all  6 adults. The dog shoved himself into any available space, even places that you wouldn’t immediately recognize as a “space”.

A rare moment when two chairs were empty. The dog straddles two worlds – the outdoor air full of the scents and sounds of Philadelphia and the indoor possibility of someone dropping something on the way to the kitchen trash can.

We used a pair of opera glasses to look down on ladies in church hats and little kids dressed in Easter finery. We saw one mom leading a pack of small boys, all dressed in velour tracks suits of different colors. The mom’s was purple. The number of people walking around in black burkas increases every time we visit there

After looking on the dairy shelf for weeks and finding none, we did get a commercial butter lamb this year after all. It looked to be a combination of plain and blobby while it was still in the box but was remarkably detailed out on the plate. We enhanced it with clove eyes and gave it some parsley to graze on.

The clove eyes give this a very “Lamb Chop” look, don’t you think? The turkey salt shaker made a surprise appearance on the table.

Easter dinner was in Philadelphia at my daughter’s house. The girl is full of surprises. She colored some blown-out egg shells and stuffed them with confetti and a special Easter fortune.

I was hoping that this paper would read “You may quit your job” but it didn’t. :(

And that is the end of any fun I am going to have in the near or foreseeable future. Work is all-consuming now and I bit off more than I could chew. I woke up at 4:30 just to make sure my heart was still beating. And it was, at the rate of a mile a minute.  See you on the other side.