Is That My Graduation Present On the Set of Mad Men?

You know, , it’s happened before that I would blog about something and then within two or three days, a big name blog would be posting abut the same ting in almost the same words. It happens on Twitter a little bit I think because I don’t have very many followers but still it happens. Twitter is different from blogging though because the rapid timelines make it easier to copy something, imply its your own and then it gets buried in the crush of a million other tweets.

But this. This is big. Remember this?

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Sent off to live a second life. Who knew the second life would be in Hollywood?

Now look at this. I think Mad Men bought my old luggage.

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Try to focus on the suitcase.

This is a scene from the Episode 1 Season 7 that broadcast on Sunday. I admit I didn’t catch this as I was watching but it sure did jump out at me when I read the Mad Style recap at Tom &Lorenzo. I taped this show because they’re always so dreamlike that I need at least two viewings to make sense out of it, so I am going to watch again and if I see anyone walking around in that airport carrying a little gold train case, well …

I am more pleased than spooked about this.  As much as I like California Pete with his floppy hair and his tennis sweater swagger, as soon as I saw him I knew that meant I’d never see him in the same room as Stangl Amber Glo again. And now, Airway Harvest Gold luggage. Very gratifying.

 

Well This Should Be Good

This is not the Father Knows Best I thought I knew. First up: cultural diversity:

I don’t know where she found one Springfield Junior College I guess but Betty brought home an Indian girl for the weekend.

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I hope Fronk the gardener shows up and sings aye yi yi yi  on the scratched up guitar that he hangs from his neck on a string. That way we can get all of the smug patronizing out of the way at once. Actually, Fronk and Chanthini Ragnapali must be using the same dialect coach because this girl sounds Mexican. If Mexico is represented by Speedy Gonzales. Hollywood Mexican of the 50s I guess.

UPDATE: Cast credits for this episode reveal that Chanthini was played by Rita Moreno. (At least it wasn’t Mel Blanc.)

The second episode tackles the serious subject of the moral obligations that The Haves must obey towards The Have Nots. You can tell this is serious because it starts off very film noir.

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Margaret gets a midnight phone call telling her she won a fancy $6000 car in a charity raffle for the Springfield Children’s Home. Jubilation all around but it doesn’t last for long.

Margaret drives over to the children’s home for a photo shoot to be featured in the Sunday paper. She gets her ass chewed by an angry grubby mechanic who says things like “them that has gets” and “people like you”. The mechanic can says these things to Margaret because he was an orphan too.

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Margaret is abashed and one thing leads to another and by the end of the episode she trades her fancy Lincoln Continental  in for two plain Ford station wagons, one for her family and one for the orphanage.

And so The Haves do their social duty and grant bounty to The Have Nots. All is well in Springfield.

I’m just going to wait here until I get another message from myself

Here in its entirety is an email that I sent to myself:

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I can’t be sure what it’s about but if I had to guess, I’d guess it was about Father Knows Best. I have a lot of notes, emails and voice memos that I get down while I am doing the 6am FKB theater. I even have a draft started about how FKB uses clothing as plot devices and believe you me,  it isn’t pretty.

Apparently, FKB can trigger some deep rumination if you are sitting in the dark just you and the Andersons and you are receptive/unguarded/sleepy.

Father Knows Best FamilyI’m not prepared to expound on the clothing issue right now but I will tell you one thing. That Margret is a dunce. For a person who supposedly went to state college right along side her future husband, she sure is mystified by ordinary family happenings. Whether she’s pondering why Bud doesn’t want to eat his supper or what caused Betty to come home in a sad mood, her action is always the same. She lays a finger against her face, then suddenly bites her lower lip when she develops a conclusion and moves her hand away, giving it one short shake as if she was dispensing holy water. Her eyes never vary from their steady sparkle.

I will say on thing in her favor. That is some spic and span kitchen she runs there. I suppose that’s only fair since she does spend all of her time there, save for the moments she sits on the parlor sofa to darn things. Those counter tops are absolutely unpopulated. I did observe her recently in the background while the rest of the family conversed at the kitchen table. Although Margaret is frequently spotted removing butcher packages from the refrigerator or holding a bunch of carrots, it is a rare sight indeed to see her actually cooking. In this scene, she was dropping batter into a dutch oven  on the stovetop, producing homemade dumplings.

She had a big mixing spoon that she would use to scoop up some batter from a nearby bowl, and then she would transfer some of that batter using a rolling motion to a table spoon and then drop the rounded product into the pot. I myself have never made a dumpling but her casual confidence as she did it sure seemed to me that she was quite adept at it. She even chimed into the conversation with a few well chosen words without breaking her dumpling production stride. That is the mark of an accomplished dumpling maker. I wonder if she learned that at state college?

Margret. Part dunce, part dumpling expert, all mother.

Soon They’ll Be Everywhere

hot-buns-product-248x300I know I’ve been scarce around here lately but I haven’t forgotten about you. In fact, I’ve been doing important background research on this particular eruption of pop culture. When you get to the end of this entry, you will be just as unsettled as I am to realize that they will be coming for you. If they haven’t gotten to you already. – S.

As a devotee of late night infomercials, I feel it is my duty to remark upon noteworthy AsSeenOnTV products. Today’s offering is Hot Buns, a Velcro-ized tube that you “simply roll, wrap and snap” to produce an enormous bun in your hair.

Now, I’m a big fan of hair buns. I’m from back in the day when nurses wore caps and I wore mine over a smooth and tidy nape bun that I achieved by means of a rubber band, a fine hair net and some bobby pins. So I’m actually quite pleased with the sudden burst of product placement that is going on now on my television.

First,let me tell you that I’m enamored with an ABCFamily show called Bunheads. I cannot help that I have an affinity for the adolescent dramedies on this network. I was a big, big fan of Huge too and am still outraged that they cancelled it after only one season. But I digress. Bunheads is quality television, people so of course I keep my eye out for what’s being broadcast there. I like to be fair – its the Age of Obama, after all – so I also make sure never to miss an episode of Mob Wives. I want to be the first to know if Renee is ever any less gross-looking of if Drita ever softens her signature skinned street rat look. (Spoiler: they all carry big handbags and none of them are any good.)

The Hot Buns on Bunheads went with only the visual because I guess “bun buns bunhead” is the silent dialogue that is supposed to run through the heads of every viewer but surprisingly, the big bun did not appear on a dancer but rather on a cold-hearted business woman (as interpreted by ABCFamily).

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The cold-hearted business woman wants to put her name on the new amphitheater which she will be paying for 100%. That’s what makes her cold-hearted. The nice people who conceived the idea don’t have Dime One to contribute but THEY HAD THE IDEA .Life is full of problems.

On the same day that I saw the above Hot Bun on Bunheads, I saw a Hot Bun on an episode of Mob Wives. Two mob wives stopped their f-wording and macho behind-someone’s-back threats e to remark on how attractive and easy this hairdo is. This is the new mob wife this season, Love. (Laverne? LaVaughn?) She never actually made wife status but she does have the distinction of shooting several of her ex-fiances who happened to be mobsters. After this random promo for Hot Buns, I’m wondering if its a simple case of payola to get the product on the show or if the mob is involved in manufacture or distribution. After all, several of these mob wives set themselves up in the “high end cosmetic” business (and they need it too: pock marks, adult acne, sun damage, Botox-osis, surgical scars. These aren’t your high-class Jersey Housewives – these ladies are from Staten Island) and ti’s just a short hop from cosmetics to hair supply. So may -bee.

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I am telling you – something’s up. It’s like when Obama declared war on guns and then all of a sudden all the major tv and radio networks had something bad to say about them. OMG DO YOU THINK OBAMA IS BEHIND THE HOT BUN MEDIA SATURATION MOVEMENT? I swear to God if Our Lady of the Clip-On Bangs shows up with one of these, then I’ll know for sure that all hope is lost. Now I’m going to deputize you all to report back to me if you see Hot Buns on any TV show, runway or news story on TV. Because i just know they’re out there.

UPDATE: A Hot Bun made a  guest appearance on Go On this week. Be afraid.

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I can’t even remember the storyline because when I saw this scene, I just shut down completely.

I Love That Salon Can’t Be Bothered With The Difference Between Savannah and Savanna

Andy Cohen you ruined Bravo as a whole and RH in specific but you got Camille Paglia on the show and that is genuinely the Mazel of the Day.

I don’t even know what to say about it, but I recently watched Camille Paglia, the only famous feminist worth anything at all,  on Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live. Real Housewives fans went berserk last month when Camille revealed in a Salon interview that she had the highest regard for the production techniques and the ladies themselves:

What does inspire you that’s out there now?

Bravo’s “Real Housewives” series! Whoever is doing the photography and editing for “Real Housewives of New Jersey” and also for “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” and “Real Housewives of Orange County” — this is absolutely cutting edge. I can watch the same episode — while I’m cooking and eating dinner – five, six, or seven times. I savor how visually interesting they are — how long each shot lasts and how much information it contains. This is intelligent and sophisticated documentary film making that really needs to be honored.

 I read a few months ago that Gloria Steinem hates “Real Housewives of New Jersey” and would be glad to picket it. Well, there’s the big difference between Steinem and me. She sees the show as a distortion of women, while I see it as a revelation of the deep truth about female sexuality. Right there is the proof of why feminism has faded. Those second-wave feminists had a utopian view of women — they constantly asserted that anything negative about women is a projection by men. That’s not what I see on “Real Housewives”! It’s like the Discovery Channel — sending a camera to the African savannah to watch the cheetahs stalking the gazelles! What you’re seeing is the primal battles going on among women. Men are marginalized on these shows — they’re eye candy, to use Obama’s phrase, on the borderlines of the ferocity of female sexuality.

This article is truly fascinating as it looks at female power that’s not related to the tailored suit and briefcase business set. Professor Paglia brings up some thought provoking issues about the direction of modern feminism and uses the Real Housewives as examples. There was a only bit of this on the Bravo show but it quickly devolved into which housewives she thought were hot and an examination of the housewife-on-housewife kissing. Then Tamara Barney, her favorite “tomboyish” housewife called in and Camille was completely star struck and lost her shit entirely. I guess Watch What Happens Live is not the forum for intellectual discourse on female power but that’s what made the few minutes that is was all the more remarkable.

The clips are worth watching. I only wish I could show you the taped broadcast so you could see the idiot Andy Cohen trying to conduct his usual alcohol-sodden mess while Camille reels off salient intellectual points. His expression is one of someone who just found gold coins in a pile of horse manure.

Watch What Happens  clips (TV Broadcast)

Housewives Sociology Watch Camille Paglia break down how the ‘Housewives’ have helped women in the workplace

Socially Unacceptable Camille Paglia names the ‘Housewives’ who are most socially acceptable and unacceptable.

Watch What Happens After (online after show)

Dynamics  Part I: Camille Paglia analyzes the family dynamics of #RHONJ

‘Housewives’ and Feminism  Part II: Camille Paglia looks at the feminism of the ‘Housewives’